


Anti-Love Club

by dellanec



Series: Yuri! on thin Ice [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Eventual Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are Yuri Plisetsky's Parents, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, VictUuri, otayuri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 28,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26784025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dellanec/pseuds/dellanec
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky thinks love is an evil scheme...well not really, but he swore off romance as a teenager and has every intention to keep that promise. Yet, at 21 he finds himself far too concerned about his best friend’s rumored love life and starts to come to some concerning realizations.Basically, Yurio is a bratty idiot who believes fake news articles and poor Otabek is oblivious and has no knowledge of his so-called girlfriend.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Mila Babicheva/Sara Crispino, Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Series: Yuri! on thin Ice [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979260
Comments: 123
Kudos: 160





	1. Lust not Love

**Author's Note:**

> Check end note! Italicized writing is Yurio's thoughts btw!!

Chapter One

Yuri Plisetsky has NEVER believed in love. Hell, he barely believes in friendship, but romance...that was just some fucked up government scheme to keep humans from being successful. He can’t really remember what the womb was like, but he’s sure he came out of it hating love. People who “fell in love” ended one of two ways; heartbroken or hating the person they were stuck with. Both horrible fucking options.

The blonde often struggled to explain his disgust towards romance without sounding like some heartless serial killer...but to be fair, it was pretty on-brand with his violent tendencies. So his friends got used to it pretty quickly. Whether or not the people around him agreed with his theory on love didn't matter to him though. His mind was made and the same day he had decided to dedicate his life to skating was the same day he swore he’d never be in a romantic relationship. Even back then Yuri knew a relationship would only distract from his skating and THAT was his one true love.

After his anti-love pact, he spent most of his teenage years actively avoiding any boy or girl who showed even the slightest bit of attraction to him. This consisted of him reacting in one of the following manners:

1\. Screaming

2\. Cursing

3\. Kicking

4\. All of the above

(It was usually Option 4) and it was less than pleasing for his public image… “Russia’s Pure Princess, Attacks Another Suitor!” was one of the many articles that came from his interactions, but as usual, he turned a blind eye and kept on skating.

Yet, with age, Yuri was awakened to the benefits of fame. He had quite a few admirers, some who happened to be very attractive men.Yes, relationships were out of the picture, but sex...now that was welcomed with open arms. Hookups were always casual to Yuri, but they often came back to bite him in the ass. With a number of one night stands declaring their love to him in outrageous ways. One particular man jumped onto the ice during one of his performances, claiming that skating together would “solidify their love”. By the time security arrived, Yuri had already kicked, punched, and dragged the man off the ice himself; fuming only because his performance had been going so well.

As more love confessions arose, Yuri’s new reputation bloomed. The media quickly changed their headlines from “Pure Princess” to “Player Prince Breaks Another Heart!”. His rinkmates were just as quick in naming him their “rink whore”...and still none of the articles concerned him... because he was doing what he loved, he was skating.

Although... a small miracle did occur as he watched those two ridiculous men fall in love. Although he would never admit it, he internally concluded that if any couple were to survive the horrors of romance, it would be those two.

Katsuki and Victor were SO grossly in love with one another. When they had first announced their official engagement, Yuri had only rolled his eyes assuming the two were only happy because they were in their “honeymoon phase”. God...had he been wrong. Five years since their wedding and any outsider would think the two were love-sick teenagers who couldn’t keep their dicks in their pants. The outsider would be absolutely right with that conclusion, but still, their relationship was nauseating. Kind of cute...but gross.

...And every time the lovers made his mind ponder the possibility of having a relationship of his own, he forced himself to remember that his success depended solely on himself. He would accept no distractions, no relationships.

Now at the age of 21, Yuri’s life remained focused on skating. Ranked as the number one skater in the world he did nothing short of pushing himself to the limit. As far as he was concerned he had every intention of keeping his rank until the day he died. Unrealistic …impossible probably, but very much like him.

Yakov had long retired and passed his coaching responsibilities to Victor and Katsuki; the older Russian focusing on the team’s skating, while the Japanese man drilled them with off-ice practice. As much as Yuri had initially complained and cursed at the announcement they all knew he would never accept any other coaches, especially without the risk of giving them stress-induced comas. The married couple had already been so accustomed to Yuri’s kicks and terrible behavior, that they happily complied to dealing with him.

It was the month before World’s and after an especially aggravating practice, there was nothing more Yuri wanted to do than get off the ice, far, far away from his coaches. Making a point to dramatically throw himself on the bench, he began to untie his laces when the familiar buzz of his phone started.

 _Not even a minute_ late.

A few years ago Yuri would have only expected regular phone calls from his grandfather, but after he had passed away, Yuri had all but abandoned his phone for months. He avoided his mother’s calls (he usually did anyway), the condolence texts, and talked to no one; throwing himself so brutally into skating that Victor banned him from stepping onto the ice. His coach then bought him a plane ticket to Kazakhstan, insisting he needed time away from practice.

The young skater had protested so violently that he was sure he would get his way. That was until Otabek had sent him a promising text, swearing to sneak Yuri into his home rink if he visited. Yuri then had no choice but to go, because how could he say no to skating...or to Otabek?

3 years later and their friendship had since grown drastically: visiting each other on birthdays, sending memes and pictures, helping one another choose songs and skating costumes, and Yuri’s favorite, their phone calls. Their calls typically consisted of Otabek quietly listening or grunting in response while Yuri would curse in multiple languages about his coaches, stalker fans, and his “disgustingly annoying” rink mates.

Ready for his rant of the day, Yuri rummaged through his bag, grabbing his phone and answering swiftly.

“ Beka-” He begins,“ -I’m going to kill everyone at this rink.”

“You’d get charged for murder, go to jail, and never compete again. You like the sound of that?” Otabek’s response is quick, his voice reaching Yuri deep and monotone as ever.

_But It is a welcoming sound..._

“Fine, you’re right. You just saved all their lives, consider yourself a fucking hero.”

“I already do, now what’s today's rant about?”

The two continue their talk, catching up on the week, talking about their programs, and the upcoming competition. It’s only a measly 15 minutes later that Otabek announces he has plans.

“ Yura, sorry but I have to go. I’m running late for a dinner reservation. Talk to you soon, Paka-”

Before Yuri is given a chance to respond the call ends and he lets out an annoyed grunt. Their calls usually lasted hours on end, it rarely was ever so quick.

_Wait. Since when did Otabek ever make “dinner reservations”? Otabek wasn’t the fancy type, he hated anything that consisted of dressing up nice and unnecessary amounts of money. Whatever, it's dinner. It doesn’t even matter._

He shakes his head dismissing any lingering thoughts before looking up. His three least favorite people were finally exiting the rink (deep down they were his favorite but again, he’d die before admitting that.) Mila’s laugh rang loudly through the stadium as Victor carried Katsuki in an- oh so ironic piggyback ride.

“You two have truly inspired me to be single for the rest of my life.” Yuri ensures his best dramatic gag as the other Yuuri jumps off of his husband’s back.

“Chush' sobach'ya! Maybe you’re jealous, da? You must be tired of fucking every living man. You’ve even surpassed teenage Victor’s horniness, are you finally desperate for a real lover? '' Mila snorts, laughing evilly at her own comments.

“ We don’t talk about my dark days, I have since found moya Lyubov-'” Victor grins, squeezing Katsuki so hard that Yuri swears his eyes pop out of his head.

“-And Yurio will eventually find his own Katsudon, let him be a man whore in peace, he will find love soon, I feel it in my bones!”

“No, that’s old age you feel in those shitty bones of yours and I’ll chop both of my feet off with a rusted saw before I ever even consider ruining my life with a relationship.”

“Vivid and morbid imagination as always, I do wish you would keep that creativity when it came to your programs!”

“ Fuck you, old--”

“Anyways!” The other Yuuri interjects.

“Are you guys joining us for dinner tonight? I think we have finally perfected our Katsudon recipe!”

“DA! Son! Daughter! Join us for dinner!”

“Free Food!” Mila grins, throwing her skates off, narrowly missing the blonde’s face.

“I’m going to poison all of your meals.” Yuri grabs his bag with a huff.

Despite their continued bickers and kicks. Both him and Mila end up following the couple out the building and to their apartment for dinner, an unspoken Friday night tradition that they all looked forward to.


	2. Otabek's Girlfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S Mila do be vulgar

The last thing Yuri expected from dinner was for the topic of discussion to be Otabek. His rink mates would mention his friend once in a while, but whenever they began to add winks or try to hint at the two having anything more than a friendship, it always ended with them running for their lives. 

Mila was ridiculously obsessed with his non-existent love life, often introducing random men to him in hopes he would magically fall in love or even worse; insinuating Otabek wanted to “fuck the living shit out of him”, it was a bunch of crap and he had gotten relatively used to her delusions. 

But that knowledge still did not stop him from choking on his drink when Mila asks a frighteningly calm...

“Doesn’t Otabek seem like he would have the biggest dick?” 

All eyes on the table turn to her in shock as she brutally slaps the back of Yuri’s choking form in a half-assed attempt to save him. 

“What? He just has that energy! He rides a motorcycle and he DJ’s for fuck’s sake...He must be great with his fingers too.” She sighs dreamily, waving her hand dismissively at the questioning stares.

“You sound...like a fucking... predator.” Yuri chokes out through his wheezes. 

“Well… you’ve seen it right? Rate it on a scale from 1-10!” Mila continues, ignoring his gasps for air. 

This line sends Katsuki choking as well and Victor begins dramatically thumping his husband’s back in an attempt to help. 

“What is wrong with you guys? It's a simple question! Since when have we been such prudes?” 

She was unrelenting that Yuri knew for certain. 

“Why the hell would I have seen his penis MILA? We’re friends! Not friends with benefits. Platonic friends! You’re a disgusting hag!” He snaps, withholding his urge to kick her into space.

_Sure Otabek was very attractive and there might have been one too many dreams about frolicking in the sheets with the man...but that information...I will take to my grave._

“You’re both still pretending to just be friends?” Surprise fills her face at his response.

“NOT PRETENDING stupid hag, I think you should be renamed the new “rink whore” for that sick brain of yours.”

“Net...you definitely still hold that title!” 

“There are just some things we do not need to hear.” Pig Yuuri groans, placing his hands over his ears. 

“I agree with my husband, Yuratchka, Mila no more sex talk at the table!” 

“Shut the hell up!” Yuri yells towards at older coach. 

“Yeah! For once I agree with rink whore! You two are the last people on this planet to complain, how many times have we walked in on you two banging?” Mila’s face clouds with disgust. 

“To be fair...you both always charge into our apartment without warning.”

Both of the skater’s eyes sharpen at Katsuki’s statement. 

“What about that time in the locker room?”

“Or the VERY public bathroom?”

“That one club we went to?”

“Or when you both got drunk and tried to do it in the middle of last year's banquet?”

“I’m still scarred from when you guys were on the ice that one morning.” The redhead viciously closes and opens her eyes in an attempt to erase the memory.

“Love has no boundaries, but you, my children simply do not understand.” Victor flashes a smile before proudly kissing the side of his blushing husband’s head.

“Well prison has boundaries and I can’t wait until you both get fucking arrested for public indecency.” 

_The two really were like a pair of bunnies. It was beyond traumatizing._

“Well enough about their sex drive, what about you Yurio? So why are you and Otabek still just friends! How could you be friends with that sexy man? Heyyy, actually....that's not a bad thing! I’ll take his number if you don’t want him!” She pulls out her phone frantically swiping before showing him her contact book with a smile. 

This time without another word Yuri kicks her off her chair, grinning as she goes tumbling. Thus, ending the topic of Otabek for the rest of dinner.

~~~

That night as Yuri lay in bed he scrolled through Instagram, ignoring all the cliche posts about relationships and pointless happy shit. _Gross_. _Get a life._ He stops his scrolling at a post by Otabek. _Since when does he post?_

The picture is of dinner and with a view of Almaty’s scenery. _So it WAS a fancy dinner? And only two wine glasses? So only two people? Otabek rarely drinks..._ Looking through the comments he sees most are from Otabek’s fans. They seem to be in a complete frenzy.

“OMG does he have a girlfriend?!!! Boyfriend?!!!”

“I’m totes ready to fight for my man. DIE FOR DAT DICK OTABABIES!”

“Huh? He was giving me very much gay vibes! I can’t believe he has a girlfriend!”

“I’m an OtaYuri stan, IDC. Someone terminate her.”

“OTABEK HAS A GF CONFIRMED. I have proof! FOLLOW TO SEE SECRET PHOTOS OF THEIR DATE!!”

Yuri blinks several times before clicking the account of the last comment and with his shitty luck, it's private. He contemplates pressing request but decides against it.

_This was all stupid anyway why should it matter who Beka went to dinner with?_

_It was probably some old friend or rink mate, or maybe he was just being nice...or could it... a girlfriend? No, no, fans always made weird shit up._

Despite that, he finds himself googling his friend's name, eyes widening at the most recent news article. 

**_“Ice Skater’s Secret Lady”_ **

A paparazzi photo shows an oblivious, smiling Otabek sitting at dinner...facing a woman. _She’s gorgeous._

 _Wait...What the fuck is going on?_ _Is this why he went through the trouble of a dinner reservation?_ She appears to be mid-laugh and Otabeks smiling, both his hands holding one of hers. _What the actual fuck._

Despite their close friendship they had never really talked about relationships. His friend had heard Yuri’s anti-love rant plenty of times but had never stated his own opinion on the matter. They talked often, but the man wasn’t the most vocal about his personal life, making it hard to know what he was thinking most of the time. 

Now that Yuri thought about it.. _.Otabek never talked about any sort of relationship, not even one night stands or potential love interests._ But here he was, photographed, smiling wider than Yuri had ever seen before. 

Typically you would swear the 24-year-old had endured ten world wars with his lack of expression. _But in the photo, he just looked so happy...so in love?_ Yuri wondered what a relationship would even mean for Otabek. _Did he only like girls? How had the conversation never been brought up after so many years of friendship?_

_And why do I feel like this right now?_

Dozens of thoughts and questions flood his mind as he throws his phone aside. He was beyond himself in confusion. 

_I have to ask Beka the next time we talk_

_We’re best friends. I should know that kind of stuff...right?_

~~

“Otabek has a fucking girlfriend! We need to dispose of her like proper Russians!”

Once again Yuri does not know why he’s surprised when he walks into the dance room the following afternoon. Mila shoves the phone screen, displaying the articles into his face. He’s read them all already, it's nothing new. 

_But it still stings_

“This is the worst thing that has happened all year! I figured it would be one of us to steal his heart. Now we’re both horny and lonely!”

“You’ve never even talked to the fucking guy before.” Yuri begins to contemplate his escape plan as her screeching continues. 

“Otabek likes girls?” Katsuki’s face scrunches as he looks at the fuming girl in confusion. 

“He swings both ways my Katsudon.” Victor sings, entering the dance room. 

“And how the hell would you know that?” The blonde instantly regrets his question as his coach responds. 

“I have mastered my skills in Gaydar and Bidar, thank you very much.” 

“Let’s just start before I quit this goddamned sport.”

He’s able to ignore Mila’s rants for the rest of practice, but can’t help the question lingering-

_Why wouldn’t Beka tell me about a girlfriend?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BANG BANG ch 2. FEEDBACK & hope u enjoyed mwahaha


	3. Phone Calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK about this chapter tbh, but like it helps flow the story so pls deal with it ahaha. xoxo

**_Chapter Three_ **

It’s the week before Worlds when Otabek calls him again. Yuri is laying upside down on Victor and Katsuki’s sofa, petting Makkachin, while the couple obnoxiously attempt a new recipe.

“Privet, sorry I haven’t called sooner I’ve been busy. You haven’t killed anyone da?”

_Busy huh? With training or that stupid girlfriend of yours? Sounds like a distraction. Why would Beka, the totally cool badass guy bother with someone who distracts him from his skating?_

Yuri feels a pressing urge to ask his questions but opts for a simpler route. 

“ I’ve been busy too, and no murder yet. Kept your comment about jail in mind.”

_I don’t need to act like one of Otabek’s pressing fangirls trying to pry into his personal life. When Beka wants to tell me, he will._

“Khorosho. What day next week are you arriving?”

“Tuesday, ty?”

“Ah me too, dinner?”

Yuri shifts uncomfortably in his seat. We go _out for dinner all the time, but is it weird now? If Beka has a girlfriend, would she be upset if they were alone together?_ Yuri was very openly gay with his screaming player reputation _._

 _No of course the fuck not._ He internally yells at himself. _Two friends going to dinner is completely normal, how could she get mad?_

 _And if she does...I’ll drop-kick the bitch to America. I was Beka’s friend first_. 

More thoughts cloud his mind and he almost audibly gags at the new ideas his brain creates. _What if she went to Worlds with Otabek? What if she goes to dinner with us? What if they are so in love Beka never calls me again and quits ice skating all together?”_

Yuri feels the color in his face drain. _Beka wasn’t an idiot, right?_ It’s not like he cared if his friend had a girlfriend, he just didn’t want it to come in between their friendship or Beka’s skating. He rather enjoyed the other man’s presence... platonically of course and he didn’t want it torn away from him.

“Yura-?” 

_Fuck, how long had he been distracted?_

“Oh! Sorry, Those two idiots are being so loud making dinner.” 

_LIE, but I can’t just tell Beka that I’m contemplating beating up his girlfriend. That would surely make me lose friendship points._

“And dinner sounds great!”

 _Too enthusiastic,_ he groans internally smacking his hands onto his face. _Just fucking ask him if he’s bringing her you, idiot. But don’t seem like you care...or like you’re stalking him._

Because Yuri hadn’t been stalking him of course... He had only refreshed Beka’s Instagram page 27 times, read every news article about the rumored girlfriend, revisited fan pages, and searched the internet top to bottom for any more paparazzi photos. That was NOT stalking, just casual research. 

“So..uh Beka-?”

The infamous grunt in response. 

_Just ask him you dumbass._

“Are you- are you going to bring like any friends or family- or like anyone with you to Worlds?” 

_What the actual fuck was that? I sound illiterate._

“Huh? Nyet- When do I ever? Why? Are you?”

“No! I was just wondering- because if you were...then we could bring them to dinner or whatever. So they wouldn’t feel-”

“No-” Otabek’s deep voice interrupts his frenzy of words.

“-Just us for dinner.”

_Oh._

Why did it feel like his whole face was on fire? 

_Allergic reaction from the air probably._

_This was all normal! I always get a funny feeling in his chest and heart when Otabek makes plans for us. I mean who doesn’t?_

_“_ Ok, yeah...ok”

Their call lasts a few more minutes before Katsuki shouts that dinner is ready.

They share their quick goodbyes and promises to see each other soon and Yuri finally lets out a breath he had been unknowingly holding. 

_The next time I talk to Otabek will be in person.. at dinner. We’ll talk about his girlfriend there for sure. He’s probably just waiting to talk to me about it face to face._

“How’s Otabek doing?” Victor questions as the three sit at the table to eat. 

“Good, he says he feels pretty confident with his program.” 

“Hmm.. he’s a strong skater. You didn’t beat him by much in China. You have a beautiful program, so no distractions this time. Da?” 

Katsuki nods in agreement adding on.

“Maybe try to refrain from any fan hookups this trip. I don’t want to call security again to drag them out of your room. 

Yuri rolls his eyes at the statement.

“Whatever piggy.”

“Ooh! I forgot to tell you, the first night we get to Canada you have a dinner interview scheduled with that one news outlet.” Victor pulls out his phone, pointing at the date on the calendar. 

“Cancel it.” Yuri grunts, shaking his head.

“That's not how that-”

“I have plans already.”

“Oh?”

“With Beka.”

“So a date?” Victor grins widely. 

“Are you fucking blind, deaf, or all of the above? He has a girlfriend, dumbass.” 

“He told you that? Or you’re still believing those articles? Years ago they wrote an article that Yakov and I eloped in Las Vegas. I think we know by now they are far from accurate.”

“Agreed, they announce that Vitya and I are getting divorced at least once a month.”

Yuri groans resting his head on the table. “I know that you stupid idiots, but they’re all over each other in the pictures. Hugging, holding hands, they are so obviously dating and he’s trying to keep it private. SO NO I will not be interrogating him!” 

“So then it doesn’t bother you that he might have a girlfriend?”

He looks up in time to see the two men shoot each other a look. 

“I swear to fucks sake I’ll kill you both right now.”

“We didn't say anything!” Katsuki fails miserably at hiding his smile.

“Now to spite you, I’ll make sure to bring back every man and EVEN woman that so much as glances in my direction.”

“It’s not like you don’t already do that Yurio.” Victor counters.

“Die.”

His only response is two annoying grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A BUILDING CHAPTER, NEXT CHAPTER GOOD AND JUICY. gimme some gud feedback


	4. Canada's Naked

**_Chapter Four_ **

The week goes by quickly and Yuri is boarding the plane to Canada before he even realizes. He receives a text from Otabek as he settles into his seat. 

“Have a safe flight, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

The blonde sighs, responding with a quick thanks. He had spent the last few weeks looking at the paparazzi pictures and something boiled within him. He just couldn’t understand what it was. 

_ Jealousy Idiot. _

_ No there was no way it was that. Sure Beka is the most attractive man ever alive, deals with my tantrums, checks up on me, listens to me for hours without complaint, and is just an overall angel… but it doesn’t matter. There is no space for that in my heart. I made myself that promise. I’m not going to ruin my career over feelings that will eventually fade. My little Otabek phases happen all the time!  _

He would watch from a distance as Beka kept his distraction of a girlfriend, so he in turn wouldn’t become distracted by his friend. It was the most logical thing to do. Yuri’s unreasonable emotions would pass… sure it had been going on for years, but one day it’d be gone for good. He was sure. 

~~

“Wakey Wakey Yurio.”

“Can you just burn already?” Yuri rubs his eyes, Mila’s face shoved into his own. 

“You’d be devastated. Now let’s go! We’ve landed.” 

They arrive at the hotel by mid-day when Pig Yuuri gives him the most horrifying news he’s ever received. 

“So since we booked our rooms kind of late, I was only able to get two rooms. You and Mila will have to share-”

Katsuki looks like he’s about to start running as he sees the darkness appear in Yuri’s face.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK PORK CUTLET BOWL?”

“Uh-sorry?”

“You can’t bring anyone back to your room now, I refuse to be sexiled!” Mila giggles as he attempts to kick her in return. 

_ This is so unfair. I can’t even get laid in my usual attempts to forget about Otabek.  _

After fighting with every employee, desperately trying to find another room, he succumbs to his defeat. The two eventually part ways with their coaches who are all but skipping to their own suite. 

_ Those annoying fuckers were off to bang no doubt.  _

“I’m getting in the shower first hag, I have to get ready for dinner.” Yuri glares at her daring her to object. 

“Whatever, wear something sexy though! Maybe you can get Otabek to break up with his girlfriend!”

“Dear god, you never stop being an annoying bi-”

The ringing of his phone stops him mid-curse.

_ Otabek’s calling already? _

“Privet Yura, I’ll see you in ten. I brought my motorcycle, so just meet me outside.”

“In ten?” Panic overcomes Yuri. He hadn’t showered, or done his hair, or picked out an outfit. He looked like absolute shit.

_ SHIT _

“Da. That’s ok right?”

“Oh yeah! Sure..yeah..of course...cool.”

_ Can you speak like a human? _

With a hum, Otabek ends the call as Yuri sprints towards the shower.

“Mila, pick me out an outfit for dinner!”

He takes the quickest shower of his life, cursing and flailing violently as shampoo gets into his eyes.

“Are you having a fight in there?”

“You better pray that the outfit is good enough or you're dead.”

Standing in front of the mirror, anger fills him at his failed attempts to make himself look presentable. 

_ I’m trying to please the other man, I just want to look good that’s all.  _

“MILA, what the fuck do I do with my hair?” 

“MAN BUN.”

Genius, he concludes as he attempts a loose bun several times before he’s finally satisfied.

_ The bun was a good idea. Now my hair won’t be in my face all night...and my eyes will be visible. Beka made that comment about my eyes a long time ago and I never forgot it. It always floats through my mind...Beka thinks I have the eyes of a soldier.  _

_ Why am I being like this? _

_ Because you care about what he thinks.  _

_ Stupid fucking heart. Suck a dick.  _

Yuri swings open the bathroom, paying no attention to his lack of clothing. It was only Mila anyways, the girl had seen him naked plenty of times. A hobby of hers included sprinting into the men’s locker room in an attempt to surprise attack him. It never worked and often ended with Yuri chasing her around in the nude. 

“Mila?”

_ Where is she? _

Turning towards the door in confusion he freezes as he comes face to face with an unexpected barrier. 

“OTABEK?”

“OH MY GOD YURI.” Mila screeches, jumping in between the two men in an attempt to shield him from his friend’s view.

It’s an extremely failed attempt at that.

“And...this is where I’ll take my leave, see you downstairs.” Otabek’s voice remains unwavering as he turns and exits the room.

Yuri stans paralyzed, eyes locked on the spot his friend has just been in. 

_ I should jump out the window right now. _

“Please don’t hurt me! I swear on my skating career I didn’t think you would come out NAKED.” Horror is written all over her face as she shuffles as far away from him as possible. 

_ Stay calm, murder is not legal.  _

“Why the FUCK was he even in here? I was supposed to meet him downstairs.” He fights to keep his voice down, they were in a hotel after all and if their neighbors heard the screams he was harboring they would definitely call the police. 

“I went to the ice machine and he just so happened to be leaving his room. So I asked him if he wanted to just wait inside and as soon as we walked in you were just standing there, dick out and all. YURI I swear I did not mean to. I’m SORRY OK, I’ll literally do anything. Just don’t attack!” 

“You are so fucking lucky I have the restraint of a godamn angel. You have just officially reached the top of my hitlist. I can never look that man in the face EVER AGAIN.”

_Oh my god... he just saw my soft dick._ The realization leaves Yuri wanting to die then and there. 

“You never know maybe- he uh-enjoyed it?” 

Silence engulfs the room louder than any scream he could have ever let out. Closing his eyes he lets out several breaths, praying he’ll suddenly appear back in Russia, preferably in a casket.

_ I’ve finally reached rock bottom. It can’t get worse than this right? _

_ This is not how I wanted to be seen naked in front of Beka. The dreams had been much more erotic and NEVER ended with me wanting to crawl away in embarrassment.  _

_ Shut up stupid brain...GIRLFRIEND remember.  _

“I-um picked you out an outfit.” Her voice is full of fear as she tosses him the clothes refusing to close the distance between them. 

More silence- quickly disturbed by a loud buzz from his phone.

A text from Otabek 

“Hurry up, I don’t want to be late.” 

_Reservation? What is up with this guy? Oh. No._ _Please don’t be some fancy place. I can not do this right now._

Grabbing the clothes, he dresses quickly. Skinny jeans, his favorite tiger sweater, and a denim jacket. Less than exciting, but he didn’t have the energy to change and it was cold out anyways. Mila remains crouched in the corner, her eyes piercing him before attempting another sentence.

“You look good Yu-.” 

“Mila.” His voice is dangerously low as he begins.

“For my sanity and for your safety do not speak to me for the rest of this trip.” 

“Da. Got it.” 

He grabs his wallet and phone hurrying out the door. He ensures to slam it as loudly as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was go downstairs and face his friend. Otabek had left the room so fast without batting an eye, Yuri couldn’t even begin to attempt to read his expression. 

_ He’s probably trying to bleach his eyeballs right now. Or looking at pictures of his girlfriend's tits to forget my shriveled up penis.  _

Yuri drags his feet slowly as he reaches the lobby. He had no clue what to even say to the man.  _ Did I even bother properly greeting him? Profusely apologize?  _

As the front doors open, he's immediately met with the sight of Otabek leaning on his bike, gaze glued to the phone in his hand. 

_ He’s so fucking gorgeous.  _

_ STOP THAT. _

As on cue, his eyes raise in time to meet Yuris and he doesn’t waste a second tossing him his extra helmet. 

“Could you have been any slower?” There’s no malice in his voice and a hint of a smile appears on his face. 

_ That smiles not even half as big as when he was with that stupid bi- _

“First of all fuck you and most importantly about earlier--”

“I don’t care, you think I haven’t seen a naked man before? Now come on. We’re going to be late.” 

Yuri’s face burns profusely at the other man’s words. 

_ Why is he the most nonchalant person on this planet? It’s infuriating.  _

“Whatever dickhead.” Yuri silently thanks the helmet as he mounts the bike. The last thing he needed was Otabek seeing how bright his face was from embarrassment. 

“Hold on tight. I’ve got to hurry if we’re going to make it on time.”

Wrapping his arms around his friend's warm body is torture at it’s finest. Beka is pure warmth in the cold Canadian air. The man’s cologne engulfs Yuri and he quickly decides it’s his new favorite scent. It takes every ounce of strength within him to not lay his head on the man in front of him, but he’s somehow able to make it without doing so. 

Twenty minutes later and Otabek parks in a lot. Dismounting the bike he takes Yuri’s helmet off without a word and quickly pulls him along towards a small shop.

_ This looks like a cafe, why the hell did he have to make a reservation? _

Relief fills him as he realizes that he isn’t as underdressed as he originally assumed. He finally gets a good look at Otabek’s outfits and feels his face begin to flush all over again. The man made black jeans, a white shirt, and a leather jacket look like runway apparel.

They enter the shop and Yuri’s overwhelmed with both warmth and the delicious smell of food. His stomach grumbles unapologetically at the new scent. The place seemed so familiar, but he can’t decide what it reminds him of. Candles are placed on every table, the brick walls, dim lights, a fucking fireplace... The atmosphere screams romance.

_ Good God, Kill me now  _

A smiling woman appears before them.

“Sorry, we’re late. I have a reservation under Altin.”

“Ah of course! The private room, yes?”

_ Private? That’s hot. _

He turns to see Otabek nod at her words.

“Come right this way!”

Yuri follows quietly behind his friend, heart beating too fast for his liking as the host leads them towards the back of the shop and to a small staircase. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for the day. I be posting like crazy. Hope you like the chapter! xoxo


	5. Not a Date

**_Chapter Five_ **

Climbing up the stairs his breath hitches as they reach the top. It was a couple’s dream spot. If Victor and Katsuki were here they would be fucking each other on the table already.

A single wood crafted table, accompanied by large cushioned chairs sat in the middle of the room. Candles lit the walls and a large window gave view to a frozen lake. 

“Just ring the bell when you’re ready to order and your waitress will be right with you!” 

The host waves turning to leave the two.

“Holy shit Bek-”

“You like it? I figured you’d want somewhere you wouldn’t have to worry about fans or paparazzi.”

_There’s no way this man isn’t my guardian angel._

_What if he’s your soulmate too?_

_I can not believe I am having a fucking conversation with myself right now._

“Of course I like it, idiot.” He can’t hide the smile on his face as he admires the view. 

That’s what it was. The place reminded him of his Grandpa’s old cabin. The thought leaves a harsh pang in his chest. He missed the man more than anything. He was all Yuri had left from his past. He was the only person Yuri had loved, who loved him just as unconditionally.

The skater knew his coaches loved him and despite his horrid attitude towards them he loved them a great deal as well, but he couldn’t stop the nagging feeling that he depended on them a little too much. He spent a majority of his time off the ice at their apartment rather than his own. Yuri always wondered if they ever got tired of him. He never had had to worry about that with his grandpa...because they had always depended on one another. 

“It looks like my dedushka’s old cabin.” It probably wasn’t the most cheerful line to begin with but he says it anyway. 

“Oh… is that good?” Beka looks at him carefully, trying to analyze his expression.

“Da, it’s why I like it already. Let’s see if the food lives up to the view. Eh?”

A smile takes over his friend’s face at the challenge.

“Oh trust me it will.”

And Otabek’s right as always. Dinner is delicious. They spend the time talking about everything that’s happened since they last saw each other months ago. Some of the conversations are repeated from their phone calls, but it’s so much better to see one another’s face. Beka even talks more than usual, letting the occasional chuckle out as Yuri curses an obscene amount. 

_It feels good. Fuck it, it feels great...seeing him like this again._ _Smiling. Laughing._

But an intruding thought proceeds to haunt their conversation, causing Yuri to lose his train of thought. 

_Why won't he just mention his girlfriend? Does he really want to keep it that much of a secret? I can’t just directly ask him, what if it ruins the whole night?_

“So… anything new?” It’s not the question he wants to ask but he hopes it’ll do the trick.

Otabek hums mindfully before shrugging.

“Hmm… not really. I told you everything”

 _No, you didn't_ . _Damn. He really doesn’t want to talk about it huh? Fine, I'll find a way to get him to talk._

“Mila’s been so annoying, complaining about trying to find love and all that stupid sappy shit. I keep telling her she’s just horny and she’ll get it out of her system once she sleeps it away, but it’s like she’s intent on trying to ruin her career with a relationship. I don’t know why she would be so stupid at the peak of her skating career.”

_This has to get some sort of reaction_

Yuri looks to make eye contact with Otabek but the other man's eyes are set on his cup instead. He looks horribly uncomfortable.

_Ha. Gotcha_

“You still think relationships are that horrible? Even after seeing how happy Yuuri and Victor are? Their careers weren’t ruined.” Otabek’s eyes glance around the room, continuing to avoid his face. 

_He sounds frustrated. He’s only acting like this because he’s in a relationship. Why won’t he just fucking tell me about her?_

_“_ Yeah of course I do, sure they’re all lovey-dovey and shit but we all know they could have both gone further in their careers, love just blinded the fuck out of them. Relationships for people like us are useless. I’ll stick to that till the day I die.” 

"Life isn’t only about skating Yura.” Otabek finally meets his gaze and his voice is only above a whisper. It makes Yuri almost feel guilty for his scheming attempt to pry information.

_Well, I wouldn’t have to pry if he just told me._

“Yes it is Beka, we’re skaters, what else would life be?”

_To be fair, it is the truth..._

The silence lingers far too long becoming uncomfortable as he realizes the Khazak is lost deep in thought. 

_Is he debating telling me? He has to now._

“So... do you want dessert?”

_GOD DAMN IT_

Dinner continues, both men avoiding the topic further in order to avoid the awkwardness. With another hour passing before Otabek glances at his phone. 

“Shit, it’s late, let’s head back.” Yuri checks his own phone and holds back a snarky remark.

It was only 10, but they did have to compete the next day. So it was probably for the best. But a piece of him doesn’t want to leave the perfection of a place... _didn’t want to leave the comfort of the other man. His laugh, his smile, everything about Beka reminded him of home._

_Otabek probably wanted to get back to facetime his girlfriend. Fuck her and fuck him too._

“Yeah, you’re right.” He agreed begrudgingly, grabbing for his wallet stopping as Otabek shoots him a dark look. 

“What?”

“Put your wallet down.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I dragged you out to dinner, I’ll pay.”

“But-”

“Shut up.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Yuri pockets his wallet. 

“Thank you Beka, it was nice.”

_It was amazing...it always is when we’re together. I just wish you would open up to me. It makes no sense._

He receives a short smile in return. “Of course Yura.”

~~

They exit the restaurant thanking the workers graciously as they head towards the motorcycle. The ride back is peaceful and they make it to the hotel in half an hour. Yuri can’t help but wonder if Beka’s driving slower than usual. 

_He’s probably just being safe._

They walk side by side once they arrive at the hotel, hand’s brushing and fear crawls into his stomach as a wave of realization hits. 

_This totally felt like a date and I really wish it was..._

They reach the door to his room and linger outside for a bit. Neither say anything but it feels like they’re waiting for something. Nothing happens and Yuri knows it’s his wishful thinking once again. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sleep well.”

He can’t find it within him to reply as the other man walks away, watching as Beka rounds the hall and the emotions within him begin to roar. 

_No way, why now? How long have we been friends? Platonic friends. I’m probably just horny, it’s been a while..._

_No, that's not it. I’ve gotten laid plenty of times and every time my mind goes back to the same person.. Otabek. The stupid fucking guy who I never stop thinking about. I just..._

_No... fuck no. This is bad._

Yuri turns, hurrying towards the elevator, aggressively pressing the 10th-floor button. He needed answers now. He felt like he was going to explode and have a heart attack at the age of 21. All because he didn’t understand how feelings worked.

_Pathetic._

Arriving at the tenth floor he searches for the room number he had been texted and knocks loudly as he reaches the door.

_Who cares if it's late?_

_I’ll keep on knocking until the door is opened. I’m getting answers..._

To his surprise the door creaks open relatively fast and a tired face peeks from behind the door.

“Yurio? Are you ok?”

He’s out of breath from his rampant rush to reach the room and finds himself breathing heavily. Yuri blinks at the face before him, feeling strangely desperate. 

...

“How do you know if you love someone?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yurio is #dumb


	6. Parent's Know Best

**_Chapter Six_ **

There’s a short delay before the door opens completely, revealing a bleary-eyed Yuuri wrapped in blankets far too large for him. 

“Come in.”

Yuri follows him through the suite, reaching the large bed accompanying a snoring Victor. Katsuki motions for him to sit, before softly shaking his husband in an attempt to wake him. 

“Vitya, wake up.”

“It’s already morning my love?"

“No sweetheart, it's still night.”

“Hmm, who was at the door so late?”

“Yurio.”

Victor’s eyes finally flutter open searching his husband’s face. “So late? Is he ok?”

"I’m right here old man.” Dread fills Yuri and he begins to contemplate if coming was a good idea. He wanted answers, but this was beyond embarrassing… more like terrifying. What if they told him something he didn’t want to know? What if deep down he already knew the answer? 

_You’re desperate idiot_

The silver-haired man sits up, blinking in confusion at Yuri’s presence. 

“Did you fall off Otabek's bike?”

Yuri only snorts at the question.

“Net Vitya, he just wants to talk to us. Go ahead, Yuri.” Katsuki smiles encouragingly at the skater, cuddling into his husband’s side. 

"Well...I just...I want...I feel stupid-” He lets out a frustrated groan dragging his hands through his hair.

_Use your big boy words_

“-I’m not sure what I want anymore.”

“In regards to skating?” Concern is etched in Victor’s face.

“No idiot. With myself I guess. I...I want to know what it means to love... or even just like someone, I guess. Or what it can mean. Do you two... see me finding love? Like really? Not just by fans or... is it even worth it?”

He knows he's rambling but continues on.

“ I mean you two are so in love with each other it’s disgusting, but it’s nice, right? It’s something besides skating to look forward to at the end of the day and... I don’t have that, hell I probably don’t need it. I just wonder if maybe… I don’t know. I think I’m going fucking crazy.”

Yuri stands, intent on sprinting out the door when a hand grabs him pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“What the fuck old man?” his voice muffled as his face is shoved into Victor’s shoulder. 

“Yurio, Yuuri, and I love you more than you could know. Not just for your skating but for your shitty attitude and violent tendencies too. I see so much of me in you...although I was nowhere near as scary.” He waves his arms absentmindedly. 

“Besides the point, I know what it’s like to not have a family, to think skating is the only thing in your life, what it’s like to feel alone, not believing love is worth it. Trust me, I’ve lived it all. 27 years until I found little Katsudon over there and it was what I needed to become the better version of myself. It’s a harsh reality but you won’t take skating to the grave. The people you love...they are what stay with you forever.” 

Katsuki’s face brightens at his husband’s words and he continues eagerly-

“ As for romance...if you don’t think it's for you, don’t force yourself into anything. But you also shouldn’t have to force yourself to not care about someone. You don’t have to lose any part of yourself or your skill to be in a relationship. Contrary to what you believe, it can actually help you grow. If it's the right person Yuri, they’ll bring out the best in you. I know you’re still stuck on that promise of yours, but how old were you when you made that thing anyways? Ten?”

“Thirteen....” He sighs 

“Bakaaa. Come on now, it’s been 8 years! If you think you’re ready to put your heart out there, then do it!”

_Kms._

He HAD been forcing himself to not care, not show any interests, and now look where it had gotten him. He was royally fucked. The man he could no longer deny caring about had a fucking girlfriend. 

“But...What if it doesn’t work out or what if they don’t want me the way I want them?”

Both coaches shoot him a soft look at his response.

_Fuck. Maybe that was too obvious._

“Is this is about O-”

Victor is silenced by his husband slapping a hand over his mouth, shooting Yuri an apologetic look. 

_Fuck my life._

“You’ll never know if you don't address your feelings. Talking to the person is important too, you know? You can even be surprised by their reaction. The truth is you can never guarantee success in love, but you get even less if you never try and spend forever thinking about what could have been.” 

“This shit’s horrible and it sounds complicated and fucking stupid.” 

_Why can’t my heart just wither away and die like it’s supposed to?_

The Japanese man lets out a small laugh, “Well, I wish I could say it was always easy, but that’s just not how it goes.”

“Yeah…” He sits still, mind swirling with a million more questions. 

_I promised myself, I wouldn’t let someone distract me._

_But it's been years of trying to deny the way I feel about him..._

He stands quickly turning away. His emotions had far surpassed their limit for the day. 

“Uh..alright...but...we never had this fucking talk. Ok?”

Two nods are given in response. 

“Good night Son!”

He can’t stop the small smile that escapes his face as he slips out of their room slowly making the way to his own. 

He was confused out of his mind...but it did feel good to know that he had people who loved him. Maybe his life wouldn’t end up being as horrible and lonely as he had grown up thinking. Maybe he did have a family. 

As for the horrifying feelings bubbling within him...

_Otabek. Otabek Altin. It’s all his fault for making me feel like this._

He enters his room careful of not waking Mila, before laying in the small twin bed. He doesn’t bother taking off his clothes. He’d deal with it in the morning, he needed to sleep away from his problems, forget every emotion he was feeling. 

_Maybe they’d all be gone by the morning._

_......._

_They weren't._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idek if I like this chapter but I said eff it let me js post it. I wanna get to the drama already MWAHA also feedback pls, I'll give you a kisssy kiss. IDk man its 3:00 am rn #rip


	7. JJ Knows?!

**_Chapter Seven_ **

The blaring of an alarm jolts Yuri awake. Letting out a silent yawn, he slips off the bed noting Mila’s absence. He peels his clothes off, making his way to the shower, disappointed by his immediate morning thoughts. 

_ New day, still want to bang Otabek. _

He contemplates sitting in the shower and allowing the water to wash away every grain of humanity but remembers the mission at hand. 

_ You’re at World’s, you have a fucking amazing program. No feelings today. Starting now, Operation avoid Beka. Win gold. Think later. _

Breakfast and public practice come and go quickly. Sporting headphones and a snarl he’s able to actively avoid any competitor who attempts a conversation. He goes so far as turning his phone onto airplane mode to avoid texts...specifically from a certain man he’s hiding from. 

He’s mid-split when a hand grabs his shoulder.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

Warm brown eyes stare questioningly down at him.

“Oh, uh I turned my phone off. Old man wants me focused.”

_ Since when did I start lying so much? And why is his touch making me want to absolutely end myself? _

The hand is burning...Through his jacket, the stupid leotard, his skin, through every inch of him. Yuri is positively burning because of this man.

_ Operation avoid Otabek is a fucking fail and it's only 9 am.  _

Beka’s speaking, but he can’t bring himself to listen. His eyes set on the plush lips ahead of him. 

_ They looked so soft and kis- _

“YURIO, there you are!” Victor’s voice interrupts all fantasies and Yuri finds himself being picked up and forcibly pulled away. Beka looks at the scene eye’s comedically wide in confusion. 

“What the fuck are you doing? I’m in the middle of a conversation.”

His coach’s response is whispered as he continues dragging him away, blatantly ignoring Yuri’s rabid bites to his arms.

“You were not doing any talking. I should be thanked a million times for my graciousness of saving you. You were just staring at him like you wanted to jump him right there and then. So now you’re going to go stretch in your dressing room and stay there like a good boy. Because I will not have you drooling all over that masterpiece of an outfit and WE told you already NO distractions.” 

Yuri bites down harder at the arms kidnapping him but stops fighting as he hears the familiar voice of his arch-nemesis.

JJ hell demon Leroy. 

The devil has his arm wrapped around Otabek and as Yuri is being pulled around the final corner he makes out one gut-wrenching phrase.

“How’s your girl?”

_ Otabek told fucking JJ. The same JJ that does the stupid hand motions and treats himself like a fucking superhero. The same JJ that took 4 years to realize he would have to marry his fiance without winning gold because he just fucking sucked that much and she was bound to leave him if he kept her waiting. That’s who Otabek decided to tell? No fucking way. _

Making it to the dressing room, Victor shoves him in with one last smile. Leaving Yuri gaping at the door in front of him. 

_ Was it because JJ was married? Did Otabek think he would give good advice? That I wouldn’t? Sure I know nothing about love or relationships, but the fact that Otabek decided to tell JJ anything instead of me, makes every bone in my body want to break.  _

_ This really does just keep getting worse.  _

_ Skate. You need to focus on skating.  _

Smacking his face with both hands, he replaced his headphones, intent now set. He was going to skate away every single fragment of emotion he was feeling until they were all gone. 

_ Thank god this season’s theme is Anger. _

_ ~~~ _

His short program is basically flawless. Victor lets out a few meaningless complaints, Katsudon pats his head enthusiastically, and Mila gives him an encouraging smile from across the room, still too scared to be too close to him.

“20 point lead in first, let’s see if Otabek knocks you down, da?”

Yuri only rolls his eyes at his coach but makes his way towards the stands with the trio trailing behind. He’s angrily scrolling through the horrid paparazzi pictures when the announcement begins. 

“Ladies and Gentleman, our last skater of the day representing Kazakhstan-”

His phone is quickly forgotten as he lifts his eyes meeting the other man's gaze. 

“-Otabek Altin”

There was always something about Otabek’s skating that captivated Yuri. It was the complete opposite of his Prima Ballerina image, so different it almost felt unattainable. Otabek skated with power and a burning determination in his eyes. He skated to make his family proud, his country... he was like a general in war. Fierce and beautiful. 

“ Beka...Davai!” Yuri finds himself shouting the familiar words towards the other man. The brunette flashes a quick thumbs-up before making his way to the center of the ice.

_ Stunning. _

His eyes are set on the skater in action. Yuri can make out the whispering of his coaches and rink mate in front of him, but none of it matters to him. Otabek twists and glides through the ice with tremendous grace. He’s skating as if his life depends on it, he holds all the power in the world at that moment. It’s strange watching a man who rarely conveys emotion, shows so much passion in front of the whole world. 

Yuri can't help but wonder if it’s more than just show... Afterall his theme was...longing. 

Otabek had of course not explained why he chose the theme when he told Yuri, but it now seemed to all make sense. 

_ He was longing for love and it seems like he found it... with her.  _

The Kazakh’s program wows. Everyone’s on their feet clapping and cheering as he strikes his final pose. He fights the Russian’s score at a close second with only a .4 margin and Yuri pretends to be more annoyed than he actually is when his coaches turn to him.

“I’ll destroy him in the Free Skate.” He shrugs in return.

_ Even if it was dedicated to his stupid girlfriend it was an amazing program.  _

When they make their way backstage, he greets Otabek with a firm kick to the side.

“Don’t get all cocky Altin, I’m coming for you on Thursday.” 

His friend leans in close a playful smirk on his face, as he presses his lips up to Yuri’s ear to whisper. 

“Oh... you can try Yura.”

_ Holy Shit. This sounds like every sex dream I’ve- _

“Otabek!” Katsuki appears before them with a big smile.

“You were amazing!” 

_ Stupid fucking piggy ruining my wet dreams coming to life.  _

“Thank you, Yuuri.” 

“Da Otabek, you should teach little Yurio here how to convey an emotion other than pure evil.”

Yuri shoots a dark glare as his older coach arrives with Mila. 

“I DO NOT need lessons from him.”

“I don’t know-” Beka begins teasingly. 

“If it’s not my favorite couple!” The loud accented voice sends a shiver down Yuri’s spine. 

_ Oh no  _

“Chris?” Victor’s joy is evident as he throws his arm around the other man. 

“What the fuck is he doing here? Oh shit. That must mean Hamster boy is here too.” Yuri groans at Otabek, who’s returned to his blank expression.

“I brought my hamsters Yuuri!”

_ Of fucking course. _

He watches with disgust as the four men hug and shout their hellos. His day is further ruined as JJ enters the room with Isabelle draped around him like a prostitute. Sure, she was his wife, but he hated her by default. 

“Ooo! What are you two doing here?”

“I’m leaving,” Yuri whispers as he attempts to slip out the room. He’s stopped by Chris' loud clapping. 

“We came here because we have an announcement and we wanted to tell our sexy friends in person!”

Chris reaches down to grab Phicit’s hand and loud gasps echo through the room.

“WE'RE ENGAGED!” The Thai man squeals, flashing his ring at his friends.

“Oh my god. Another gay ice skating wedding. I swear I’m not going to this one.”

“Yes, you are.” Otabek snorts in response.

_ What if Beka gets engaged next?  _ Yuri has to plug his nose to avoid letting out a gag at the idea. 

“Let’s celebrate tonight!” JJ booms. Yuri wants to kick him just for existing. 

“Da!” 

“Of course” 

“How exciting!”

“Let’s get drunk!”

Victor’s gaze snaps to Mila at her declaration. “You are not coming.”

“WHAT? You can’t do that!”

“Mila-” Katsuki laughs. 

“-You have to skate tomorrow, you are not coming out tonight.”

“I won’t drink that much, I promise!”

“Not happening” Victor repeats firmly.

“THIS IS-”

“Just invite Sara over if you don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Mila’s face instantly turns bright red at the mention of the other girl. 

“Oh, Ok…”

“Well. I’m busy, so I can’t go.” Yuri lies. Intent on watching cat videos for the night. 

“Aw, are you sure?” Phichit questions, facing him with a wide pleading gaze.

Otabek rolls his eyes before leaning down to whisper in his ear once more. 

“Just come with me and we can leave once they start stripping.”

_ Fuck me if I say no to anything involving Otabek. _

Letting out an exaggerated sigh he addresses Phichit “I guess I can squeeze it into my schedule.”

“WOOHOO.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally don't ship Phichit and Chris at all so don't ask me when the frack this came from LMFAO.


	8. Drink Till Ya Drop

**_Chapter 8_ **

He doesn’t have to complete the following day, but Victor still warns him against drinking. 

“Don’t get carried away tonight, you need to be alive and ready for Thursday if you want to fight for Gold.” 

“I’m not you or your stupid husband. I actually have self-control.” 

Famous Last Words.

Phichit and Chris rent a party room in some fancy club and of course… a strip pole resides right in the middle of it. 

“Ok Vitya-” Katsuki points at his husband as they sit. 

“ -We still have to coach Mila tomorrow so let’s not drink tonight.”

“Of course, I agree detka.”

It’s only ten minutes later that the two hold matching drinks.

“Just one!” Katsuki shouts over the music. 

_Lie_

Yuri isn’t sure how, but a cup appears in his own hand not too long after. 

_I guess I could drink a bit, it would be a good way to get my mind off everything._

Otabek excuses himself for a call and Yuri flips him off as he turns away. 

_Of course, the clingy rat has to call while he’s out with friends._

_Fuck it. Time to forget._

“Hand me the Vodka!” He yells at Chris.

“That’s the spirit!” The Swed exclaims passing him the bottle.

With a grin, Yuri uncaps it and lets out a laugh far too manic for his own good. 

“Let’s get this fucking party started!”

And then he starts chugging.

~~

_Fuck. Shit. Motherfuck. My stupid fucking head_

Yuri claws at his face in a worthless attempt to stop his brain from pounding against his skull. 

_How did I even get back to my room?_

Eyes slowly opening he’s greeted by the blaring sun peaking through the hotel blinds. All of the night's memories have completely vanished and he freezes at the sudden realization of a warm body beside him. 

_Why am I only wearing my underwear?_

_Did I accidentally crawl into Mila’s bed? But shouldn’t she be at practice already…Oh shit._

_Did I HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE?_

_Please no. Please no. Please no._

Turning his head slowly, he prays to see the familiar red hair beside him.

It’s not red.

A loud screech exits him as he violently kicks, watching in horror as the body rolls off the bed landing with a loud THUD. 

_Ok...maybe I shouldn’t have kicked the stranger. But that's their fault for having sex with a DRUNK MAN. Disgusting-_

“What the fuck Yuri.” The familiar voice groans from the floor. 

Crawling to the other side of the bed his eyes widen at the sight below him.

“Otabek?”

“No shit..”

“What the fuck are you doing in my room? In my bed? WHY AM I NOT WEARING CLOTHES.”

The Kazakh lets out a loud yawn before sitting up and motioning to their surroundings. 

“First of all, you’re in my room, in my bed. I tried putting you on the sofa, but you kept jumping onto the bed, and then you kept complaining about it being hot so I guess you took your clothes off sometime during the night.” 

“So then why don’t you have a shirt on?”

“Yura I don’t even usually sleep with clothes on and you’re the one that got into my bed are you seriously questioning my sleepwear?” 

Yuri’s face beats red at the revelation. “I got wasted didn’t I?”

“You chased a cat down 4 blocks in just your underwear.” 

_Not the strangest thing I’ve done._

“Why didn’t you stop me asshole?”

“By the time I got back you were already too far gone to be saved.”

Yuri lets out a frustrated groan, throwing himself back onto the bed. 

“Did anything else happen? I can’t remember shit.” 

There’s a short silence before the other man responds. 

“You tried to kiss me and then you asked me to have sex with you and when I said no you started crying.”

_Nope. No way,_

Yuri blinks at Otabek who’s now standing.

_This is a dream. IT HAS TO BE._

“Are you fucking with me?” 

“No... don’t worry though. I forced water down your throat and locked you in the bathroom until you stopped trying to jump me.”

The urge to throw up is suddenly very prevalent and the older man grimaces at his face.

“You look green.”

The blonde barely makes it, slamming the door behind him as the contents of alcohol burn down his throat into the toilet. 

_No fucking way. Does Otabek know now? My life is over. Done. I have to move to fucking America and start over as a fucking peasant. What if they make me play hockey and eat cheeseburgers every day? How do I escape? Should I just drown in the toilet? Please if there is a go-_

_“_ Here take this-” He looks up to find his friend handing him two pills. 

“-They’re for hangovers.”

“I’m going to die.”

“That’s dramatic even for you.”

“I tried to fuck you.”

“You aren’t the first person.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“It’s not a big deal, you were drunk and horny. You were even flirting with girls at the bar.” Otabek continues casually, as he begins to brush his teeth. The blonde blinks at him, mouth wide in shock. 

“With girls? But I’m... gay.” 

Otabek turns to him, brush still in mouth, before letting out a laugh. “You should get going. Mila’s going to perform soon and I need to shower.” 

He begins pulling his sweats down and Yuri lets out a loud squeak of horror.

“What?” His friend questions, confusion evident in his face.

_Don’t just get naked in front of me. WTF._

_TOPIC CHANGE TIME_

“Uh...What happened to everyone else last night?”

“Victor gave Yuuri a piggyback ride around town, JJ tried autographing some old women’s face, and Chris and Phicit made a scene running back to their room screaming about stripping hamsters. So nothing really new.”

“This is why I don’t go out with those idiots.” He groans cradling his head. 

“I don’t know why. You fit right in.” Otabek grins, returning to taking his pants off. 

Yuri immediately rises, trying to balance himself before running out the bathroom and pushing the door closed. 

_Otabek doesn’t even care. He is so unphased with me trying to kiss him. What the fuck? IS he that disgustingly in love with that witch? Does he really find me 0% attractive?_

_AM I UGLY?_

_No..never that._

_SO WHY?_

His head pounds harder as he attempts to find his clothes littered around the room. 

Dressing quickly and grabbing his phone he hurries out the room, thankful that his own room isn’t much further. By the way he feels he knows he looks like a dead man walking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTA 8


	9. Sara & Mila

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Def more of a filler chapter/transition ya know

**_Chapter Nine_ **

He takes a much longer shower than necessary. The warmth of Beka’s body pressed against his own, burned into his mind. His abs. The way he had no qualm in pulling his sweats down. 

_Maybe I shouldn’t have run out so quickly…_

Smacking his face he turns the water to it’s coldest setting. He needed food and to get to the rink, there was no time to have dirty fantasies about his best friend. 

As he dresses he makes sure to grab the darkest sunglasses possible. The lighting of the rink was going to be murder for his hangover. The walk towards the arena is short but he spends it praying his horrifying fan club isn’t lingering, stopping quickly at a bakery. 

_Fuck any sort of healthy diet, I’m dying._

He makes it to the rink avoiding his insane fans and sneaks into the designated area.

“Hi Yuri!” Sara shouts, waving viciously at him. 

“Sara, I’m hungover don’t be so fucking loud.”

She lets out an even louder giggle. “You too? Why would you drink so much during competitions?”

He shoots her a glare, sadly hidden by his sunglasses.

“Where are my asshole coaches?”

“With Mila! She goes on soon. Have you seen her outfit yet? She’s so pretty don’t you think? Do you know if she’s seeing any…”

_No way. Not ANOTHER gay love affair._

“No she’s very very single and alone and she thinks you’re hot so just fuck tonight and get it over with.” He turns, ignoring the stunned reaction before moving to find his coaches. Spotting the three faces not too long after. 

“NOT YOU TOO.” Mila groans as he joins them.

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“Mila, please use your library voice.” Katsuki chides softly. 

The other two men have sunglasses on as well and are nowhere near as vocal and preppy as usual. 

_Great. Hangover central_

“I can’t believe you all got drunk at World’s and I wasn’t even allowed to join.” The redhead whines. 

“I told Sara you want to bang her, so that’s your reward for staying away.” 

“YOU WHAT?” 

“Yurio go away, Mila go stretch.” Victor sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

“DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT-” 

“WELL YOU LET OTABEK INTO OUR ROOM AND HE SAW ME NAKED.”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.”

“MILA. GO STRETCH NOW.” 

“FINE.” Three pairs of sunglasses watch as the redhead wobbles off angrily. Victor turns to face him, pulling off his glasses to stare at the blonde. 

...

“Did you have sex with Otabek last night?”

_I hate this fucking man._

“Victoro, we said we’d talk to him about it later.” 

“I know, I know. It’s just if you’re sore you won’t perform-”

“Are you fucking senile?-” Yuri seethes, his face burning brightly. 

“-He HAS A GIRLFRIEND” 

“Well, last night you didn’t seem to care-”

“NO, WE DID NOT HAVE SEX.”

“Hmm. Not even the tip-”

“NO.” 

“Fine.” Victor stalks away following after Mila.

“So...uh...did you ever talk to him?” Katsuki questions. 

“There’s no point.” He sighs, dropping into the nearest seat. There was no use in pretending his feelings weren’t directed towards Otabek anymore. Especially with Katsudon, he could read Yuri like a book.

“Do you want me to ask him about it? Otabek keeps to himself, but wouldn’t he have told you if he was dating someone? You two talk all the time. It doesn’t really make sense.” Yuuri sits beside him.

“No. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m an asshole and I’ll judge him if he tells me. I heard him and JJ talking about it, so I know it’s true now.” 

A sharp pain makes its way to his chest as he continues. 

“I guess he’ll tell me on their fucking wedding day or something.”

“Are you su-”

“Yes Pork Cutlet Bowl, I’m sure. It’s for the best. Even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, what would the chances be? Negative one million. Only a week ago I was claiming I never wanted to be with anyone anyways. I shouldn’t be bothered about someone who doesn’t even think about me like that. ”

_Fuck it hurts admitting that._

The Japanese man lets out a soft sigh, before patting his shoulder and standing. 

“He cares about you a lot Yurio. Everyone knows that much.” 

“Yeah...as a friend.”

His coach gives him one last look before pulling him up.

“Come on, Mila’s up next.”

~~~~

Mila ends the day in first place, leaving both coaches beyond happy. As they part ways with the pair, Victor lets out a strict demand.

“Order room service and do not even think about going out tonight.”

“Yes, dad!” Mila grins dancing around. 

“Whatever.” 

The two skaters spend the rest of the night eating and arguing and it’s not too long before Mila begins her rant.

“Sara hasn’t texted me, Yuri. I think you scared her off.” 

“She’s probably scared of your ugly face.” 

“You’re so evil. I’m literally gorgeous.”

“Yeah if I were her, I wouldn't text you either.”

“Shush, help me think of a text to send her.”

“How about something crazy like... Hi.” He rolls his eyes, reaching for a chip.

“NO-” Mila groans, slapping his hand away.

“This is why you’re single. You can’t just be boring like that!”

“I’m single because I want to be stupid hag.”

“Sureeee.”

His night ends as Mila sneaks out like a rebellious teenager to makeout with Sara and he drifts asleep, dreams of a certain skater following.


	10. Spain without the S

**_Chapter 10_ **

The next day is long and grueling, unlike the others. He stretches for what seems to be forever, waiting for his own performance. Finding himself subconsciously searching for Otabek as he walks around trying to waste time. 

_Just to taunt him of course._

When he finally spots the man he grins, evil plans instantly activated. Every time Yuri had attempted to scare him before, had been an ultimate failure. The man was brutally emotionless. 

_But today is the day I make him piss his pants._

Poised behind Otabek he begins his tiptoe forward, stopping suddenly at the laughter erupting from the older man. He was talking into his phone, joy obvious in his face. 

“Yes, I know. I’ll call you after... You’ll be watching?... Good, it is dedicated to you after all...Sure thing...mhm. I love you too.” 

_Oh…_

_I love you too? Dedicated to you?_

_Fuck me. Of course, they would talk before he skates._

Yuri turns quickly, grateful the other man hadn’t seen him. He hurries forward, head tucked as he tries to desperately get as far away as possible. 

_Holy shit this sucks. Sure I figured he had a girlfriend...but hearing him say those words...to someone else. How long have they been together to already be saying they loved one another? How long has he been hiding this from me?_

Defeat fills him as he enters his dressing room, slamming the door shut and sliding down against it. 

_Why now of all times do I have to realize how I feel? Why now?_

He leans his head against the door, breathing deeply as his mind runs. 

_Why does this hurt so fucking bad? Of course with my luck, I would finally admit to caring about him... as soon as he falls in love with someone else._

_Karma._

Yuri wipes viciously as his eyes begin to burn. 

_You can’t cry right now dumbass._

_This is what you asked for. This is what you wanted. To be alone, right?_

_So then why do I feel like absolute shit?_

_Because you love him, idiot._

_Yeah...yeah, I probably do._

~~~~

His performance is doomed from the start. As soon as he finds his coaches they both begin interrogating him. He hadn’t hidden his pain as well as he thought. 

“Are you ok?” Katsuki begins carefully. 

“...You look like you’ve been cr-”

“I’m fine. I’m ready.” 

He pushes past them heading towards the ice. He ignores all the “good lucks” from fellow competitors, Mila’s attempt at a hug, and he especially makes sure to not turn around at Otabek’s “Davai!”

It hurts, but he still makes his way to the center of the ice. 

His skating is terrible. The worst it’s been in years. It’s embarrassing. To the crowd, it might have seemed normal, but he can feel every mistake. He doesn’t miss his jumps but the landings are wobbly, sequences are messy, his emotions don’t match his theme. He feels like absolute shit as he steps off the ice.

_Great. What am I 7 years old again? That was fucking horrible._

Eyes are on him as he makes his way to the Kiss and Cry. Emotions running vivid as he sits, both coaches on either side quietly as they await his score.

He’s barely able to grasp first place with the help of his previous score, but he knows he won’t be able to maintain the spot.

_Can’t even get Gold._

It's backstage that the pair pull him aside away from prying eyes. 

“What the hell just happened?” Victor snaps, eyes wide in confusion. 

"I haven’t seen you skate like that since you were 13.”

“Yurio did something bad happen this morning?” Katsuki continues, concern visible.

Yuri has half a mind of cursing and stomping his way back to the hotel but he’s far too tired, he leans against the wall responding defeatedly.

“I fucked up ok? I’ll do better next time.”

“That’s not what we’re asking.” 

“What happened?”

“I’m just tired.”

“You were fine this morning.”

Katsuki interrupts, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. “If you don’t want to talk about it now then that’s ok. Just remember that you can tell us. Go nap in the dressing room and we’ll come get you for the podium.”

He only nods, forcing his body to move towards the room. In only a few minutes sleep finds him. Pain still wreaking havoc in his chest.

~~`

Hours later hands roughly shake him awake, dragging him out of his sleep. 

“Medals are starting. You placed second.” 

“Who won Gold?” He croaks, voice still full of sleep. 

_I don’t know why I asked, I know the answer._

“Otabek.”

He grimaces as Victor helps him up and leads him out to the rink. The camera’s flash brightly in his face as soon as he steps past the curtains. 

He can feel Otabek’s eyes burning into him as he mounts the podium. 

“Are you ok?” The Kazakh whispers from his elevated height. 

Yuri only presses on a grim smile and turns towards the blinding lights. 

_I’ll just jump off the podium and run away to Cuba before he can talk to me._

He doesn’t bother with small talk as the other medalist congratulates him, ignoring the man and turning to run. He barely takes a step as a hand grabs his own and pulls him into a warm chest. 

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Confused brown eyes search his face for answers.

“I’m hungry.” He lies in return, wishing desperately that the other man would loosen his grip.

_He’s killing me._

“Don’t lie to me, Yura. Are you angry with me? I can’t always let you get first place you know.” Beka teases, hand still toying with his. 

_Die. Burn. Rot._

Yuri rolls his eyes, pulling away from the burning grip. 

“I told you not to get all cocky Altin.”

“No, but seriously. Where’d you go? I didn’t see you before my performance. You’re my good luck charm, you know that.”

_Stop doing this to me. You have no idea what your fucking words do to me asshole._

“Well, it seems like you didn’t need me this time.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.”

_Fuck you. Stop that._

“Whatever-” Yuri steps away, ready to leave once more.“-Good job though...I guess.” 

“You are so bitter.” Otabek laughs, pulling him close for a second time. 

“It’s ok though. I’ll take you out to dinner to make up for it, Da? See you later.” The brunette places a light kiss on the top of his head before heading towards the impending interviews. 

Yuri stands frozen for several minutes, placing his hand on the spot where the kiss had been pressed. Otabek had done the action before...but it had never left Yuri in quite so much pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PAIN. LMFAO I don't even feel bad that's what Yuri's dumbass deserves. 
> 
> Also the way I wasn't going to update again today but then these sweet-ass people commented and I said EFF IT. Literally love the feedback also feel free to tell me if something sucks ass because I'll probably agree. Auf Wiedersehen <33


	11. Tonight is the Night

**_Chapter 11_ **

“Are you coming to dinner?” Mila asks as he lay in bed contemplating his existence. 

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Are you mad because you got silver and Otabek and I got gold?”

“Mila, can you shut the fuck up?”

“That’s a yes then.” 

“No. I’m tired, now leave me alone and stay the night in your girlfriend’s room. I want to be far FAR away from you.”

“Nyet, Nyet, Nyet. Tonight's the night she becomes my girlfriend, she’s not my girlfriend just yet.”

“Whatever. Disgusting either way hag. Get out.”

Mila giggles, blowing him a kiss before skipping out the room.

_Great now I can be left alone to hate my life._

As if the world wants him to hate everything more his phone begins ringing. He promptly chooses to ignore it, shoving his face into the pillow below him.

It's three minutes of non-stop ringing before he angrily accepts the call, not bothering to check the name.

_It has to be annoying ass Victor._

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Sometimes I forget how much of a ray of sunshine you are."

_NOOOO_

“Otabek?” 

He attempts to smother his face in the pillow. 

_Of course, the root of all my problems would call me. Fuck you stupid world._

“Do you not have my number saved kitten?”

“I told you to never call me that again. It’s horrific.” 

The way his heartbeat quickens is a sure indicator that he's lying. 

_Only Otabek could make such a stupid name sound HOT._

“Mhmm. Anyways you left your wallet in my room the other night, you should come get it before your flight tomorrow.”

“Bring it to me on your way to dinner.” 

“I’m not going out.” 

“What? Why not?”

“I only go out when you’re going and it’s obvious you’re not so, therefore, I’m not. I think I’ll just order room service and watch some movies.”

“You won gold though, shouldn’t you celebrate?”

“It’s not my first gold Yura. We can celebrate when I finally beat you in the Grand Prix.”

_Cocky Sexy Bastard._

“In your dreams assface, can you just bring me my wallet before your little lonely sleepover?”

“No. Come get it.” The line ends without another word and Yuri lets out a frustrated scream. 

_Being “maybe” in love with my best friend is the worst thing ever._

Feeling like an absolute mess in sweats and a sweatshirt far too big, he slowly shuffles his way to Otabek’s room. 

_Just going to grab my wallet and leave. No explanations. No nothing. Then I’ll leave tomorrow and have months to get over him._

Yuri stares at the door for far too long before knocking. 

_“_ It’s open, come in.” 

Taking an exaggerated breath, he enters the room; instantly greeted by Otabek sitting on his bed, plates of food surrounding him.

_Shit. He’s so hot._

_Grab the wallet and leave!_

“Where’s my wallet?” 

His friend points at the desk beside him. Yuri grabs it and turns, refusing to glance at him a second time. 

“Well thanks-"He mumbles, "-I’ll see you.” 

“Yura, sit down.” 

He gulps at the man's tone, shaking his head quickly without turning.

“No.”

“Yes.”

The bed creeks as Otabek rises from his spot and walks around to face him.

_FUCK_

“What’s wrong with you? I know it’s not because I beat you, you’ve been acting weird all week. I tried not to push but come on you have to give me something. I rarely get to see you and you just want to leave without even saying a proper goodbye.”

_ALL WEEK, he’s noticed ALL WEEK? COME ON. TIME FOR YOUR BEST LIE_

“It’s...uh...my mom.”

_Where did that come from?_

Beka pulls Yuri onto the bed, sitting beside him. 

“I thought you didn’t talk to her?”

“Well...I don’t but...I guess I’ve just been thinking about everything a lot more and it’s just been bothering me.”

_Well it isn’t a complete lie._

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” 

A mix of guilt and anger fill him as he responds. 

“Oh please, you never tell me anything. Why would I bother you with stupid shit?”

_I don’t even want to hear him tell me anymore. I heard everything I needed to today._

“That’s not stupid Yura.”

_Shit. Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. He looks so worried._ _DIE DIE DIE_

“You obviously don’t want to talk about it-" Otabek sighs, reaching forward to push hair away from his face, "-but just stay and eat with me.” 

_Hell no._

“No. I’m going to go to sleep.” 

“So then you can sleep here. You don’t have to be alone, you know that right? That’s what I’m here for, especially when you’re sad.”

_Fuck him and his stupid niceness._

_STAY STRONG SAY NO._

_"_ Come on kitten I promised you dinner, didn’t I?”

_Welp he had me at kitten._

“Don’t call me that and I'll stay... I guess...just to eat."

The brunette smiles in triumph.

"I want the pasta though," Yuri grumbles, avoiding the other's gaze. 

“Oh no, we’re sharing this one.” Beka laughs and dodges to avoid his swat. 

~~

Dinner is easier than he expected. They’re able to laugh and tease each other without Yuri getting a nosebleed so he considers it a victory. 

_Hey, this isn’t too bad. Just two friends eating dinner. How we’ve always been before. I can do this...regular platonic friendship!_

Yuri chokes on his food minutes later when Otabek takes a lick of his ice cream. 

_Ok. Nevermind. I think I’m hard._

Once their plates are empty and their stomachs are full, Otabek clears the bed of all remnants and lays against the headrest. “What movie are we watching?”

“I don’t care.” Yuri responds from his position on the furthest corner of the bed. 

_I will stay a minimum of 3 feet away at all times._

Beka remains silent as he scrolls through the list, grinning as he clicks one. 

“This one has Brad Pitt.” 

Yuri only rolls his eyes pulling his knees to hug them close to his chest. The movie barely begins, when Beka’s voice startles him. “Come here.” 

He snaps his neck to look at the other man. Heart and face burning at the command.

_Thank god he turned off the lights._

“Uh...what?”

“I want to braid your hair, come over here.” The brunette is motioning between his lap. 

_In between his LEGS? So close to him? As he touches me? Oh no, no. Is it too obvious if I say no? Should I leave?_

_Just indulge this one last time. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to him anyway._

_Might as well. God isn’t this a sick form of personal torture?_

Otabek had messed around with his hair before, but never like this. It was always when passing him or before performances that he would run his hands through the blonde locks, but never so personal. So close. The thought of his friend’s warm body against his own sends Yuri’s heart into another frenzy as he slowly gives in, crawling his way to the motioned spot. 

“Do you even know how to braid?” 

“Yes. Now sit”

_Hmph, who the hell taught him that?_

Yuri sits between the man’s lap, large hands immediately brushing through his hair.

“It’s gotten so long.” Otabek whispers, voice sending a shiver throughout Yuri's entire body. 

_That’s not the only long-_

“Yeah? I think I’ll cut it soon. Some asshole compared me to Victor the other day.”

“You look good either way.”

Yuri pays no attention to the screen before him, attempting to remain calm at the proximity. The past few weeks had unlocked so many emotions. Emotions he assumed he would never experience...jealousy, want... love? 

_I just want to be near him. I want his stupid girlfriend gone. I want him to want me._

The soft tugging of his hair stops.

“All done.”

“Does...it...uh look good?” Yuri questions, face burning violently. 

“Beautiful.” Otabek returns, pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead. 

_Why does he do and say things like that? Doesn’t he understand? I have to tell him he shouldn’t do stuff like that, especially now with a girlfriend.. I’ll just say people might take it the wrong way._

_In reality, I just need to stop getting my hopes up. So I’m going to tell him these touches, these little moments...they should stop._

“Bek-” He begins turning around only to be met with instant regret. 

Otabek’s face is lit by the dancing colors from the screen, hair disheveled, brown beautiful eyes watching his green pair, lips plush, pink and soft.Yuri can only stare. All functioning thoughts flee his brain

_How can someone look like that?_

_Why is he so-_

The brunette leans towards him, hand snaking up to his cheek and thumb lightly rubbing. 

“Are you tired already?”

Yuri doesn’t respond. He stares dumbly as the thumb continues its movement. 

“I’ll take that as a y-”

He’s been possessed. That's what he tells himself as he lurches forward closing the distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAHA Is this my first ever #cliffhanger? Sorry, not sorry. KISSES <33
> 
> SO MAD AT MYSELF I MEANT TO POST THIS MORNING RARRRR


	12. Kiss Gone Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK JS AN FYI this chapter is a wee bit spicy for like ten seconds so if you don't like that kind of stuff you can scroll down to the line that says "It's like ice water..."
> 
> ENJOY

**_Chapter 12_ **

It’s a horrid kiss, their lips barely touching before Yuri pulls back in horror. 

_I ruined it...I just ruined everything. I am officially the worst person ever._

Otabek’s eyes are wide, hand hovering hesitantly over his lips. 

_He’s never going to talk to me again._

“Fuck, shit, hell, Beka I didn’t-”

Before the words can be uttered their lips are crashing, the brunette having moved forward to close the gap once more. 

_ASHDFNMJF??_

The kiss is drastically different from the first. Lips pressed firmly together, with no intention of parting. 

He's not sure how or why but their kisses deepen, breathing heavier as Otabek pushes him onto his back hovering over him with dark eyes. 

His brain is mush. He can’t think. He doesn’t want to think. When he starts thinking again this... _ends._

Otabek's a professional, as he seems to be with most things, biting Yuri's lip and drawing out a soft gasp from the skater. The heat surrounding the two begins to burn and both sweaters are abandoned. Bare chest revealed. 

_Off. Everything should be off. Clothes shouldn’t exist at this moment._

Their hips grind into one another, desperation seeping through as Otabek abandons his mouth in favor of littering bites down his neck, soft whimpers filling the room as the trail reaches his chest.

“Is this okay?” The brunette whispers between bites. 

_Good. This feels so fucking good. But this isn’t right. He’s just going to go home...back to her? Act like I mean nothing…_

_Do I even mean anything to him?_

“Just hurry up.” He gasps, ignoring all common sense within him. 

The bites down his body continue steadily reaching the brim of his waistband.

_Does he think I’m easy because of my reputation? Does he touch her like this?_

_No...we aren’t the same. He loves her. They’re together. Dating._

_This is so fucked up. I can’t._

Otabek returns to his lips, letting out a groan as their hips meet once again. His mouth moves to Yuri’s ear as he gasps. 

“Fuck Yura, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.” 

It’s like ice water has been dumped on him. It doesn’t make him feel good or warm like he’d expect. 

No, it fills him with rage instead. 

_I’m just a sex doll for this asshole. I can’t be a fucking mistress. Holy shit I’m a homewrecker. Otabek’s a cheater. PIECE OF SHIT CHEATER. WHAT AM I DOING?_

_“_ Stop.” He demands, pushing himself up. 

The brunette pulls back instantly, eyes full of concern, “Is everything ok? Did I do-”

“Is everything ok ?” He mocks angrily, snatching his sweater from the floor and desperately trying to ignore the dilemma within his sweats. 

“Are you an idiot? Is this why you invited me over Beka? Because you wanted to fuck me?” 

He pulls on his sweater, refusing to make eye contact with the man standing in front of him.

_BadBadBadBad this is so fucking bad._

“What? No, of course not. I’m sorry I thought you-I never meant-”

“I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID IT WAS OK.” He shouts angrily, instantly lowering his voice, reminded of the surrounding rooms. 

“But you also shouldn’t be a piece of fucking shit either. Were you just going to fuck me and then have me leave tomorrow like nothing? Like I’m some whore mistress? Huh? Is that what you were going to do asshole?”

Yuri finally meets his eyes, the man’s usually stoic face is filtered with a foreign emotion.

_Guilt? Confusion? Blue Balls?_

_It doesn't matter_

“Yuri I’m so lost. Where is this coming from? I would never-”

“You already did Otabek.”

“Did WHAT? Is this even about what just happened? Can you just talk to me?” Exasperation is evident in his voice as he follows Yuri to the door. 

_Is he really pulling the stupid card right now? Is he really that much of an asshole?_

“Fuck you, and leave me the fuck alone.” He’s seething as he opens the door and slams it in the other man's face. 

_He better not follow me._

All Yuri can see is red as he storms to his room. He begins to unlock it and is stopped by a muffled sound from within. Placing his ear against the door, he pulls back in disgust.

_No fucking way. These two stupid rats are fucking in my room. This is so not the time._

His anger burns brighter and he’s tempted to open the door and kick everyone in sight. 

_The last thing I need to see right now is two people having sex._

_TRIGGERING_

_Where the fuck do I go? I can’t be out here, what if he comes after me begging me to keep his dirty gay secret?_

_Victor and Katsuki?_

_No, they’re definitely banging too and they'll make a huge fuss if they see me like this._

_...so who?_

_No one._

His back hits the corridor wall at the return of the sharp pain in his chest. Worse than any he had felt the whole week. It’s the kind that makes him clutch at his own body in fear that he’ll break down. He hurries towards the elevator, the tears in his eyes overwhelming his vision. 

_No one. I can’t go to anyone. I can’t talk to anyone._

_Just like my mom. I’m going to end up just like her._

_I need to leave. I need to go back to Russia. I need to go back to skating. To what I know._

He makes it out the elevator, through the lobby, and outside before the tears fall. Wiping at them desperately and ignoring the bystanders who give sympathetic looks. Reaching for his phone he curses loudly as it refuses to start. The night air suffocates him with it’s biting cold. 

_This is what I get for thinking I could love someone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got worst... WHOOPS. It was bound to happen though because Yuri is an absolute idiot ): feel free to reach through the screen and kick him.


	13. Inn

**_Chapter 13_ **

Yuri walks for miles, trying to create the largest possible distance from himself and the terror he had just endured. It’s not long after that he realizes the blueish tint of his fingers. Looking around he notes the foreign surroundings. 

_I can’t make it back to the hotel now even if I wanted to._

Continuing forward, an Inn sign illuminates before him. He walks as fast he can, entering the building desperate to part from the cold. A bell rings at his entrance and an old woman wobbles forward.

"Can I-uh-get a room for the night?"

“Oh darling, there aren’t any rooms left because of that little competition going on at the rink.”

He ignores her ignorance, running his hands through his hair and cursing, “Fucking great. The world is trying to tell me to die, huh?”

The woman shoots him a strange look, pity washing over her expression as she notices his trembles. 

“What are you doing out so late sweetheart? You aren't from around here ay?”

_I left my room at 10. Shit...It’s probably like 12._

“No, I'm visiting. The time, wh-what time?” He cringes at his own accent. English had never suited him. 

“It’s 2 sweetheart.”

His plane left at 11 the next day, he’d have to get back to the hotel and pack by 8. Katsuki was a stickler when it came to airports and Yuri did not want to deal with two angry and annoying husbands. 

“You can take the couch over there, so you can warm up and rest for a couple of hours. I’m sorry I can’t get you a room but I can bring you blankets too if that helps?”

Yuri contemplates kissing the old woman right then and there. 

_No, no more kissing for the rest of my life after tonight._

The nights horrible, every time sleep draws near the battle between sorrow and anger return within him. The couch is small and dingy and the blankets are rough, grating against his skin. 

The worst ache still resides within his chest. 

_Otabek probably never really cared about me. He's just some fake straight guy who wants to fuck boys for fun. How can he just do that after everything?_

_How did seven years of friendship end like this?_

_~~~_

The pain is just as prominent as he wakes, glancing at the clock filling him with even more dread. 

7:50

_Katsuki probably gathered a search party by now._

Scribbling a thank you and tossing money on the counter he exits the building, taking in a deep breath before pushing into a sprint. His lungs burn from the cold but he continues forward nevertheless.

_He could not miss this flight, not when he was so close to going home._

He makes it back quicker than expected, head pounding in pain and sucking in desperate cold breaths.

“Yurio!” 

He’s engulfed in a tight hug, turning to see the pale faces of his coaches and rink-mate who clings desperately to him

“Where the fuck were you?” 

“I’ve been calling you since 1 in the morning!”

“Are you ok?”

“I-" He rubs a hand down his face, too tired to explain the painful reality of the prior night, "-my phone died. I’m fine. I just need to go pack.” 

“I already packed for you," Mila explains, pointing at the black SUV before them. 

“Oh.”

“Yuri, where did you go last night?”

“I just stayed at another hotel, I wanted some privacy.”

By the looks he's given no one believes him. 

“You look horrible.” The redhead grabs his face between both hands. 

“Can we go? I'm fine.”

_I don’t want to talk about it. Please_

“Yuri...” Katsuki begins stepping forward. 

_Not now. I can’t right now._

As if reading his mind Victor grabs his husband's hand and nods. 

“We don’t want to be late Detka, let’s go. We can all talk later.”

Mila finally loosens her grips but stays close before speaking, “You should call Otabek, he was looking everywhere for you. He seemed really worried, did something-”

He shakes his head, hoping to avoid the topic further without the use of words. Mila begins to protest but stops, sighing before following the two coaches into the SUV. Taking a last look at the hotel he slips in beside her, closing the door. 

Victor gives the driver directions as he clenches his eyes shut in an attempt to drown the blaring pain throughout his body but all chances of peace are ruined as the door his head rests on is ripped open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write a fic about Yuri and the Inn lady falling in love?
> 
> Yeah?
> 
> Great glad you're all on board. 
> 
> Also, can we collectively beat up Yuri? k THX


	14. Let's Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOO it gets feisty up in here.

**_Chapter 14_ **

“Really Plisetsky?” 

_This is war._

“Hi Otabek!” Mila smiles brightly. 

“Uh oh.” The couple beside her whisper simultaneously.

All sorrow fades from Yuri’s body as he glares up at the man.

_Oh, this motherfucker has some nerves._

Unbuckling, he rises, pushing the brunette out of his way to stand before him.

“Don’t, “Really Plisetsky?” me, asshole.” 

“Are you going to grow up and talk to me?” Otabek bites back.

“I know you’re not telling ME to grow up.” 

“Yes, YOU.”

“You’re a piece of shit Otabek.” 

“I don’t fucking understand you, Yuri-”

_Why is he trying to play the victim?_

“-What happened last night?”

“A MISTAKE. KISSING YOU WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I’VE EVER MADE.” He explodes, all the anger finally releasing itself. 

4 loud gasps are heard from within the car. (The driver included, duh)

“And this friendship too. This time I wasted thinking you were a decent person, or when I used to look up to you and want to be around you. I should have known you were too good to be true...but I would have never guessed you were this horrible. It makes sense though you can’t even fully commit to skating, how could you commit to a fucking relationship?”

“What the-” Otabek begins, brows furrowing in confusion. 

S _o he really thought I didn’t know about her? Or is he doing that stupid act again?_

"I won’t be your secret gay hookup Otabek. I deserve better than that. Maybe you thought I would be easy, but believe it or not, I have morals and I have standards that are much higher than the likes of you.”

The brunette steps back, hurt filling his usually blank face. 

_I don’t care. I can’t care. He deserves it._

“I don’t want to see you again, feel free to delete my number. ”

He slides back into the SUV, buckling the seat once more.

“Oh, and tell your fucking girlfriend she can do way better than a cheating scumbag like you.”

He slams and locks the door leaving the man behind and breathing heavily as he addresses the driver.

“We can go now.”

The man nods quickly, eerie silence destroying the car completely. Not one person willing to make a sound.

_I should feel good. I just put him in his place. I don’t have to see or talk to that asshole again. That’s good. Yeah. Of course..._

_But….Holy shit... This does not feel good at all. This is horrible. The one person who willingly became my friend...the only person I’ve really wanted. Everything just feels like a lie and it hurts so fucking bad._

He blinks rapidly as tears threaten him for the millionth time. Without a word he reaches for the sunglasses perched on Mila's head and puts them on, laying his head on her shoulder silently. 

She makes no complaint, wrapping her arm around him and kissing his forehead. 

~~~

It’s not until hours later when he opens his apartment and drops to greet his cat that he cries properly, angry sobs racking throughout his body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOUR GUYS COMMENTS MAKE MY DAY. What do we think about Yuri? I think this is exactly how he would react but maybe I'm biased because it's my writing HAHA. We all know he makes rash decisions and is just a little kid at heart!
> 
> Also, I felt so bad for Beka while writing this scene like imagine how confused he is. HAHAHA anyway let me know if you have any suggestions for the next few chapters, I have it written but Isome new ideas never hurt! THANKS FOR READING <333
> 
> ALSO, I FEEL LIKE I shouldn't have told you guys Beka doesn't actually have a girlfriend for da suspense of it. But oh well too late!


	15. The Trio Wants Answers

**_Chapter 15_ **

It takes two weeks for the trio to force him to explain what happened that night. Yuri sits on the bench after practice, staring into the distance, when Mila drags him out the door and to their coach’s apartment. 

They all sit silently at the table before the redhead interrupts the tension. 

“Okay, so you two had sex?”

_WHY IS THAT ALWAYS THE QUESTION?_

Katsuki places his head on the table with a quiet mumble, “That’s not how we said we were going to start this conversation Mila.”

_No point in lying or not telling them what happened. They already saw me disown him so…_

“No, we didn't. We just... _kissed_."

“You owe me.” Victor mouths towards a frowning Mila. 

A violent kick is given under the table in return.

“So then you’re angry because you kissed him?”

“No...well yes. I fucked up but I pulled away and then all of a sudden he started kissing me and things were escalating and he said something stupid. I came to my senses and told him off for being a shit person and you guys saw the rest so that's it. I don’t give a fuck anymore. It’s over. The end. Don’t care.” 

He waves his hand in the air, refusing to look up. If any people were to see through his lie, it would be them. 

“You obviously still care-" Mila sighs, chewing aggressively at her carrot,"-you shoved the new kid down the other day just for looking at you and he cried for 30 minutes straight.”

_Oops. I have been a little more angry than usual, but who the fuck cares?_

“The little shit was in my way, _Mila_.”

“He was definitely on the other side of the rink and you charged at him like a fucking bull.”

“Whatever, he had it coming. He has an annoying face.”

Both coaches shoot him a disapproving look that he pointedly ignores. 

“Otabek looked really confused when you two were talking. You did confirm with him that he had a girlfriend right?” Katsuki questions skeptically. 

“Well then-" Yuri snaps, "- he can become an actor for all I care because he was playing stupid. And yes, _I am sure_ , how many times will I be asked that?”

The Japanese man sighs returning to his food.

“So he hasn’t reached out to you since?” Victor continues curiously.

“No, and even if he did I wouldn’t respond.”

“You don’t want to try and work things out or talk about it? It just really doesn’t seem like something Otabek would do.’

“Fuck no, he’s a lying, cheating, piece of shit, fake straight scumbag. So sorry that your little perfect skater didn’t work out as planned, but he’s the last person I want to see."

All three skaters blink at him, obvious distrust in their eyes.

“Ok…” 

“Sure...”

“Alright.”

He didn’t miss Otabek or care for him at all. Well, that's what he repeated to himself throughout the rest of dinner.

And despite the permanent anger and hurt residing within him. 

It was still one big lie.

Yuri had never wanted someone by his side more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter for transition, but I'm posting the next chapter rn and it's the REVEAL HAHA.


	16. Oh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVEAL CHAPTER

**_Chapter 16_ **

3 months.

That's how long it takes for Yuri to learn the truth. The truth being that he is indeed...a fucking idiot. 

He lays in his designated spot on the coaches' sofa while Mila annoyingly clings to him.

“I miss my girlfriend.” She whines, trying to cuddle beside him.

“She left yesterday stupid hag.” He flicks at her face, grinning at the redness that appears. 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t miss her, you heartless Russian.” 

“Yuuri Detka, I found one!”

Both skaters roll their eyes as their youngest coach slinks slowly down the hall and towards his impending doom.

“Vitya baby, I thought we agreed to wait for adoption?”

“But he is so cute! Just look!”

Mila lets out a low snicker as the tired coach sits on Victor’s lap, hiding his head into the other man’s shoulder.

“Victor no.”

“Yuuri what if I die a painful, horrific death tomorrow and you didn’t let me get him? My last words will be: OH NO, I never met that beautiful baby, HE NEVER GOT A HOME!”

“VICTOR don’t say things like that! You’re not dying and we agreed to wait before getting another dog. We have had this conversation TEN times. SO NO, NO DOG. Now get off the adoption site and go like Phicit’s post on Instagram, he won’t stop talking about his new hamster.” 

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME DETKA? CHRIS LETS PHICIT GET MORE HAMSTERS!”

His husband shoots him a harrowing glare, “Well do you want to go and marry Chris then?” 

Victor instantly begins grumbling his apologies.

“Those two are disgusting and psycho.” Yuri sneers as the couple return to their lovey-dovey state, curled on top of one another, and scrolling happily through Instagram. 

“Don’t be a hating hoe-” The redhead sighs in return.“-Have you thought about going on any dates recently?”

Yuri lets out a laugh before kicking her with all his might. 

_I have returned to my strict anti-love pact. Just where I belong!_

_K Liar_

_Heart, I told you to SHUT THE FUCK UP_

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” He shouts at the whimpering girl on the floor. 

“It’s been a while since Ot-”

A dramatic gasp interrupts them as they turn to see the two men with horrified expressions as they peer at the phone.

“Is it another dog video? I WANT TO SEE.” Mila pushes herself off the floor, flailing towards the pair. 

Yuri huffs loudly returning to his own phone. 

_My cat videos are better._

It takes him a minute to realize that there are no coos or awes, only complete silence. Looking up, his curiosity peaks as he notices Mila has paled and the trio’s eyes remain glued to the phone. 

“Okay, who the fuck died?”

_Eek, maybe that’s insensitive. What if someone actually died? Welp. Not my fault... I didn’t kill them._

“You...” The redhead tries, her voice strained.

“Huh? I died? Another article claiming I got shot? That’s not new.” 

She doesn’t respond, instead grabbing the phone and hurrying over to throw it on his lap. 

“Look.” 

“Why the fu-”

“Just look, Yuri.” Katsuki adds grimly. 

_Ok, why does even piggy sound annoyed?_

Grabbing the phone, he feels his heart stop at the image displayed before him. 

Otabek, Sex god Otabek Altin stands clad in a suit, wide smile with his girlfriend tucked beside him... wearing a wedding dress.

_No way. NO WAY._

“They got fucking married?” 

The pain he had been trying so desperately hiding returns in a manner of seconds as he stares down at the monstrosity before him.

A harsh slap across the face stuns him just as quickly.

“READ THE CAPTION YOU FUCKING IDIOT.” Mila’s expression has changed to a bright angry red. 

_I would kill her if I wasn’t about to die._

Face burning and body aching with heartache he begins reading. 

_Oh My God._

Every moment he’s had in the past 5 months is turned upside down. He alternates between looking up at his friends and back down at the screen dozens of times before the cold realization runs down his spine. 

_This can’t...I…._

“She’s...his...his...cousin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After forever the truth it OUT. EEK 
> 
> Thank you again for all the support and comments <33


	17. Operation Otabek

**_Chapter 17_ **

_“Congratulations to my best friend. Through everything, you have been my biggest supporter and fan. More than my cousin, you have become the sister I always wanted and have loved me unconditionally. I pray that you and Amir have the most beautiful life together and I can’t wait to become an uncle. I love you always Nadia.”_

He stares wide-eyed at the caption.

_What the FUCK?_

Frantically going to the comments he pales further at them. 

_I knew they weren’t dating!_

_You’re all a bunch of idiots_

_Congrats Nadia!_

_He’s so effing hot omfg_

_OtaYURI lives on!_

_Oh shit, so that’s definitely not his girlfriend LMFAO and we were about to kill her._

“I thought you said it was confirmed she was his girlfriend? Are you fucking serious?” The anger on Mila’s face is unexpectedly scary.

The flashbacks tear through him. 

_The “unreadable” expression on Otabek’s face had really been...confusion...hurt...It wasn’t guilt or anguish for being caught, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Of course, Otabek would be confused..._

“I...”

“You’re an idiot Yuri, I can’t believe you.” 

He looks up at the two on the opposing couch, quietly watching with disappointment written on their face. 

_Shit, that hurts almost as much._

_What did I fucking do?_

_The relationship talk at dinner, the conversation he overheard with JJ, the phone call, their kiss...everything was different. Everything was wrong. How could he be so wrong?_

“I was so sure..."

No response from the other three in the room. 

_Fuck this. Fuck me._

The judgment is obvious and it flusters Yuri horribly. 

“Okay FUCK FINE. Pork Cutlet Bowl was right, YOU were all right, ok? I WAS WRONG. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?”

“You have no right to be mad at us.” Victor snaps, far from impressed by the blonde’s outburst. 

Katsuki remains silent, standing and turning to the kitchen before murmuring. “I’m going to start dinner.” 

“I’ll help Detka.” Victor follows without another glance in his direction.

“Are you se-” 

“No, Yuri.” Mila interrupts firmly. 

“Victors right, you can’t be angry at anyone but yourself. Those two have been worried sick about you and you know that. They do everything possible to make sure you’re healthy and happy. Katsudon has spent the last few months stressed out of his mind, trying to figure out how to make things better for you. We all told you to use your words. To communicate. You’re young but you’re not a kid anymore, take responsibility for yourself. Go apologize to them and then figure out how you’re going to make things right with Otabek.”

Yuri stares at her, struggling between arguing and listening, before slumping further into the couch. 

_She’s right. Of course, she is._

_I didn’t listen and now I’m in this fucked up situation._

“Yeah...okay.”

Mila gives him a soft smile. 

“I’m going to head to the market for some wine. We need that shit because you’re an idiot. Tell them I’ll be back in a bit. I love you, alright? We’ll figure it out, why else would you have an older sister for?”

She leaves without his response and Yuri remains seated, the thoughts in his mind running wild. 

_How is it possible that everything was so wrong?_

_Why didn’t I just listen for once in my damn life?_

_Otabek..._

It takes all his might to stand and walk towards the kitchen.

_When was the last time I apologized to someone anyway?_

_Do I really need to?_

Peaking in, the guilt builds as he sees Victor wrapping Katsuki in a hug.

“My love-" He sighs, pressing a kiss onto the younger coach's forehead, "- putting this much pressure on yourself is not good for your anxiety. Coaching is something we should enjoy. You know I would never be angry at you if you wanted to retir-”

“No, No Victor. I love coaching them, they’re family. You’re family, always. It's not even about the coaching. I just worry so much, sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough to help him. You always tell me how you felt so alone before you met my family and I. I’m scared that he feels like that, but he just doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions and he’s finding reasons to push people that love him away. It's not healthy for him.”

Another harsh pang hits him. 

_Stupid Dad Katsudon Piggy_

"I know but he’s not a-”

“I’m not a kid anymore Piggy.”

Both men startle at his sudden interruption. 

“I’m a brat and an idiot, but I’m not a kid. Listen up, I’m only going to say this once because it’s embarrassing and stupid...but I’m...sorry. You all told me to grow up and talk to him, it would have saved us all a headache and I know I’ve been even more of an ass lately than usual. I don’t tell either of you but-”

He covers his face with both his hands mumbling his final words.

“-I appreciate everything you do for me and...IguessIloveyouboth.”

“What was that?”

“Did he just say he loves us?” The disbelief in Katsudon’s voice makes his face flush red. 

“Will both of you shut up? Just stop worrying about me so much. You’re like a million years old, you’re going to have a heart attack.”

Yuri looks up to meet the eyes of the two men, secretly relieved to see the disappointment replaced with comforting smiles. 

“Told you he loved us. He’s the son we never wanted.” Victor laughs, kissing his husband enthusiastically. 

“DON’T DO THAT IN FRONT OF ME.” Yuri gags turning away from the pair. 

But it brings happiness to his hurting heart nonetheless. 

_Parents...who needs my shitty biological ones?_ _Especially when I have these two idiots?_

“Give your fathers a hug!” 

“Absolutely not.”

Victor ignores him pulling both squirming men into a hug. 

“WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A FAMILY HUG WITHOUT ME?”

Mila stands, eyes dramatically wide with four wine bottles clutched to her. 

“How the hell did you get back so fast?” Yuri gapes, tearing himself from his coach’s hold.

“I ran there and back, so that can count for tomorrow's training!”

“No, it can’t.” All three men return. 

“You all suck, but we have bigger issues to address! Now that we all love each other again we can get straight to business. I BOUGHT ONE BOTTLE FOR EACH OF US. SO... LET'S START OPERATION OTABEK.” 

~~~~~

“And you’re sure you’re blocked on everything?”

Yuri takes another pitiful swig from his bottle, tossing the phone to his youngest coach.

“Oh...He even blocked you on Pinterest.” 

“Can’t he just call or text Otabek from one of our phones?” Mila slurs drunkenly. 

“Nuh-uh that’s not fair to Beka and then we risk him blocking us as well. I’m not getting dragged into that. I like the DJ samples he posts, it’d be a shame if I got blocked too.” Victor reasons. 

“What about sending him a letter then?”

"What are we in the 1960s?"

“I THINK ITS CUTE.” 

"If he'd even open it." Yuri rebuttals with a groan. 

“Well, it is ultimately his decision if he wants to listen to you or not. You did basically say you hated his guts.” 

“I don’t need a reminder Pig. Either way, a letter won’t cut it, if he’s angry enough to block me then the odds he’ll open a letter from me is little to none.”

“You don’t know if he’s angry...he could just be hurt or-”

“It doesn’t matter, a letter doesn’t even give me a fighting chance.”

"Hmm... I guess."

Yuri lays his head on the table, sorting through different alternatives before he jumps, surprising the others.

“I’ll go to Almaty.”

He receives three raised eyebrows in response. 

“You want to just show up at his place?” Piggy questions, smacking away his husband’s wandering hands. 

“I mean...it’s probably best to talk in person right? And I won’t see him at comp for at least another 2 months. So why not?”

“OH MY GOD. THAT’S SO ROMANTIC. LIKE A MOVIE.”

“Uhh. I don’t know if that’s the best idea Yurio.” 

“Why not? Isn’t face to face the best way to make up with someone?”

“Yes, but randomly showing up at someone’s doorstep might be a problem.”

“NUH-UH, THAT’S SO CUTE. IF SARA DID THAT I WOULD JUST DIE.”

“Can you please take that bottle away from her?” Katsuki sighs.

Yuri wrestles the wine out of her hand and chugs the remainder before she can attempt to snatch it back.

“I said take it away, not drink it.”

“BLAH BLAH anyways, I think I should go. I don’t want to wait another 2 months to talk to him and the other ideas are stupid.”

“I can tell you made up your mind so if you think it’s the best idea, there’s no point in trying to convince you otherwise.”

“Mhhm. Yup, so it’s set. One more week of hard practice and then you can go WOO Otabek. But now that that's out of the way-” Victor smiles mischievously, picking up a blushing Katsuki. “-My husband and I have personal business to attend to.”

“Vitya, shush!” 

The older coach saunters away, the brunette still in his arms. 

“EWWW” Yuri and Mila screech, hurrying to turn the TV to its highest volume.

~~~

They find sleep calling them as they lay cuddled against one another.

“Hey, Mila do you think it’s a good idea? Do you think Otabek will still want to talk to me?” He whispers it so softly he’s not sure she can hear. 

The drunken girl swings her arm around him snuggling deeper into his chest.

“Of course he will Yuri, I always told you he loves you.” 

_That would be nice..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOO our favorite idiots going on a trip. How do we think Otabek's going to react?? 
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying it <333


	18. Kazakhstan

**_Chapter 18_ **

That is how Yuri Plitesky ended up in the Kazakhstan airport exactly one week later. 

He tugs anxiously at his hands as he waits for his bags to arrive, trying to keep in mind his friend’s departing words. 

The trio had obviously been nervous for him as they had said their goodbyes in Russia, making him promise to update them constantly. Yuri had mindlessly agreed to get them to shut up, but in reality, knew it would only make his anxiety grow.

Grabbing his bag and flagging a taxi he slides in, giving the driver his hotel address in rusty Kazakh. 

_I haven’t spoken the language for so long._

During the prior years of visiting Otabek, the DJ had taught him a fair amount of the language. It had never really been necessary because the brunette had already been fluent in Russian; their main form of communication, but it had been nice. The way his eyes would light up when Yuri would say a phrase in his language or how he would tickle and tease the blonde when he messed up his pronunciation. 

_The warm hugs and head kisses, the long calls_

_Fuck...I miss him so much._

Staring out the window into the night, he rubs at his face. The memories of all his visits haunting him. It was the first time he had come to the country without Otabek welcoming him with a warm embrace.

 _Tomorrow,_ he promises himself. _Tomorrow I’ll talk to him and we can go back to how things were before._

~~

He’s a nervous wreck the entire day. He tries to go out for air, but ironically feels suffocated, hurrying back to his room in favor of room service that he barely touches. His hotel is a ten-minute walk to Otabek’s apartment and the idea of its proximity makes him squirm. 

The time feels unreasonably slow and he has half a mind of bursting into the man’s skating practice and shouting nonsense. 

Otabek was known to finish practice at 4:00 pm, meaning he would no doubt be home by 5:00, the time Yuri decided he would knock on his door.

The different scenarios had already raced through his mind but the worst part was that he had no idea what he was going to say to the man. He had spent the last week trying to figure out where to start, but his ideas were a mess. The whole trip was a mess. 

_I’ll figure it out...somehow._

Yuri ignores the dozens of texts coming from his friends, opting to switch his phone off. He needed to relax and breathe. Mila had said it was going to be alright. Otabek might be mad, but he couldn’t stay mad after Yuri flew all the way to Almaty to speak to him. He couldn’t be that angry... _well, he hoped._

As the time inches closer he finds his hands are trembling.

_I haven’t been this nervous ever. Not for competitions, or interviews. Only he makes me feel like this, dammit._

The walk towards Otabek’s place is grueling. He flinches at every brunette man that passes, fear rooted in his heart. Despite it all, he makes his way to the apartment without a second thought, almost as if the route is wired within him.

_Maybe I visited more than I thought._ _We did spend a lot of time together, so I guess it makes sense._

The apartment complex makes his breath stop entirely. 

_Apartment 12C. That’s the one._

Taking in a shaky breath he makes his way down the hall, attempting to calm his nerves as he reaches the door. 

_Now or Never._

The desire to see Otabek’s face runs through him and he knocks three times without another thought. 

_Holyshitholyshitholyshit._

_WHAT AM I DOING?_

_I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH_

_WHY AM I SO DAMN RECKLESS?_

_WAIT WHAT IF HE MOVED?_

_WHAT IF-_

“OH MY GOD, YURI PLITESKY?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO ANNOYED. I posted Chapter 19 on accident after editing it for a SOLID HOUR. 
> 
> BLEH ANYWAYS a kiss to anyone who can guess who's at the door. 
> 
> I'll try my best to update this week but I am so busy with school. Yo college sucks butt guys. Like actually hate it so much. 
> 
> Also if it wasn't already obvious I write at 3 in the morning and I don't have an editor LMFAO. SO please don't be in search of quality content. IMA TRY <33
> 
> TO ALL MY HOTTIES THAT KEEP COMING BACK TO READ, ILY AND IM DOING MY BEST TEHE


	19. She Talks A Lot

**_Chapter 19_ **

“I AM SUCH A FAN. I LOVE YOUR SKATING. YOU ARE LITERALLY AMAZING. I ALWAYS TELL OTABEK-”

Yuri’s shocked face is enough to shut the woman up as she continues to gawk at him starstruck.

“I didn’t even introduce myself! I’m Otabek’s cousin, Nadia! DO YOU EVEN SPEAK KAZAKH? HERE WAIT-”

She clears her voice starting over in perfect Russian.

“Hi. I’m Nadia, Otabek’s cousin! I am such a huge fan!"

Yuri thinks that crawling into a hole and dying is the perfect option as he continues blinking at the girl before him. Seeing her in person the similarities between her and Otabek are painfully visible. Their face shapes, the eyes, the nose. 

_They look like fucking siblings..._

_WELL OTABEK NEVER LET ME MEET HER SO HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?_

“Uhm, are you alright?” She questions leaning forward to inspect his face.

“Oh...uh...yeah. I was just a little surprised.”

“SO AM I. Can I take a selfie?” Before he can reply she begins snapping photos of the two of them, blatantly ignoring his distressed expression.

“OH, I’m horrible. I didn’t even invite you in, come on!”

She pulls him in enthusiastically, turning to him with a wide smile before trapping him with a door slam and lock. 

_Oh god..._

“Otabek isn’t back home yet and I’m just here visiting for a while, sorry for surprising you like that! He should be home in an hour or so, so you’ll see him soon. Sit anywhere, you know your way around I’m sure.” She flashes him a wink, making her way to the kitchen. 

“-You’re just in time too! I’m making Otabek’s favorite since he’s been so moody lately. Seeing you will make him so happy! I’m so glad you two made up, he wouldn’t tell me what happened back then, but he was being such a bitch.”

Yuri stands in the same place he had been dragged to, his mind refusing to let him communicate properly. 

_Nadia. The woman I thought was Otabek’s girlfriend is actually his cousin and is standing right in front of me._

_What is she even saying? I’m seriously not paying attention._

“Sorry, I’m talking your head off, right? Otabek did tell me you weren’t the most social person. That’s ok, neither is he! Believe it or not, he does get into these moods where he won’t stop talking though” 

_"_ Uh...You’re really his cousin?”

_STUPID IDIOT. She just told you that._

She shoots him a confused look but nods nevertheless. 

“I-”

_I can’t tell her what happened, she’s going to think I’m an absolute dumbass._

“He actually doesn’t know that I’m here. We haven’t talked since then.”

Her eyes widen as she continues her cooking.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I was hoping that we could talk today.” 

“Hasn’t it been months?”

“Yeah, I realized some things recently.”

_LIKE THAT YOU TWO AREN'T DATING_

“Hmm. Well, I think I deserve an explanation then, Otabek refused to give me one. So it's the perfect opportunity for you to help me cook! You can tell me everything that happened and I’ll tell you if I think you’re stupid or not! 

_She’s awfully comfortable for just having met me._

_And she talks a lot too..._

Yuri gulps but can’t find it in him to say no to the women. She was kind in a frightening way, he was almost sure she’d start attacking if he declined. 

With a hesitant agreement, he follows into the kitchen, prepared to tell the horrid tale. 

_Well...most of it._

~~~

“YOU THOUGHT I WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND?” Nadia stares, mouth agape as he pushes the last dish into the oven.

Yuri had somehow ended up telling her that part. She was a very convincing woman. 

“Yeah...”

“Oh wow, you’re dumber than you look.”

He only huffs in response

“None of what happened makes sense.” 

“I know." He grits quietly. 

“Does that mean he’s never talked about me? I’ve been asking to meet you for ages. I can’t believe that stupid jerk.” She slumps down into a dining chair, rubbing at her temples in confusion. 

_“_ Well, Beka doesn’t talk about himself a lot, to begin with. I know his parents were really horrible, but he didn’t tell me much else other than he stayed with an aunt for most of his childhood, he mentioned a few cousins but I never saw any pictures. I’ve always wanted to know more, but I figured that asking might be a sensitive topic. ”

“I’m not even sure how he feels about a lot of things. Sometimes he’ll open up to me but even then he’s still so reserved compared to most.”

_That’s how he was with everyone then...even family_

_“_ So then, you two are pretty close?”

_WHAT DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT ME?_

She looks strangely pained as she replies. 

“The aunt he stayed with was my mom. When he was still a teenager I decided to go study in London. I was doing what was best for me but I left him with all his problems. We would talk on the phone as much as possible but we both got busy and secretly I think he despised that I left, but he’s so selfless he’d die before admitting that. Anyways, I moved to Uzbekistan last year so we get to see each other a lot more. ’m really grateful to have him, he can be a brat sometimes, but he really is such a sweetheart.”

_Yes, yes he is._

_But does she always tell strangers this much?_

_Unless maybe he’s told her a lot about me?_

_And she feels like we know each other..._

It was overwhelming, it wasn’t even a fraction of what there was to know about Otabek and he still felt smothered by the little he had just discovered. 

_I’ve called him my best friend but do I even really know him?_

“I don’t know much about his life. It’s kind of frustrating, I didn’t even know he liked men.”

“Well, thats just stupid." She spits, rolling her eyes, "- Do you two even talk? That man has been pining over Brad Pitt since he was like 12.” 

_He did talk about Brad Pitt a concerning amount._

“Wait...how did you not know he liked y-I mean men? What about that talk you guys had a couple of years back?” 

_TALK?_

“Uh...What talk?”

She pales, shaking her head dramatically. 

“NO NO NOTHING NO. I didn’t mean to say that!”

“Nadia, shouldn’t I know about a talk I supposedly had?”

“NO SHUT UP.”

He groans smacking his head against the table. 

_So if he likes guys...could that mean he likes me?_

_He did kiss me back that night, but then, that could just have been in the heat of the moment._

_I shouldn’t assume or get my hopes up too much. That would just be another ache._

_I should just fix our friendship first and then maybe later I can see if he actually feels that way about me._ _But after all these years...I doubt it. I would know by now if he did, right?_

“You’re both stupid,” Nadia grumbles, poking at the side of his head with a fork. 

“Yeah, I know.” He returns, refusing to lift his head

“Mostly you though.”

“Yes, thank you for sharing, I know.”

“So...then, why didn’t you just call him when you found out who I was?”

“He blocked me...on everything.”

“Hmm, is that why you won’t tell me what you said to him? It must have been pretty bad because I’m not sure Otabek has blocked anyone before in his life. You have a knack for hurting him, huh? You always have been his-”

Yuri raises his head to look at her.

“Have been his what?”

She rolls her eyes at him, waving her hand dismissively “Forget it. It still doesn’t make sense why you’re here. Wouldn’t you have just seen him at a competition? You could have talked then. You said you’re here to mend your friendship. Do you actually think that can happen?”

Confusion clouds him at her words

“Well, why not? We’ve been friends for so long, we can survive one stupid misunderstanding.”

Nadia’s face flashes with disappointment. 

“So you came here to apologize and go back to being friends? Nothing more? You weren’t jealous when you thought he was in a relationship?”

_I can’t admit that. There’s no way I can admit to his cousin that I wanted to literally kick her to outer space because I thought she was banging the man of my dreams._

“Well no, I-”

“So then you just wanted to fuck him?”

“WHAT?”

“I mean you said you kissed him first so you were either drunk or horny, right? What other reason is there for kissing someone who’s “just a friend”? And then you supposedly weren’t jealous either, so, are you actually just a player like those news articles say? Were you just trying to mess around with him? Make it make sense to me because from my viewpoint you honestly don’t look good right now. ”

_She sounds kind of angry a_ _nd she seems pretty protective..._

“Well-I...I just kissed him. I don’t know...I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t think he’d kiss me back.”

“Listen, Yuri, you seem okay. There are some things I’ve heard that don’t make me the happiest. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because Otabek always talks about how amazing you are...but I have to be honest with you. If you came here to mend the friendship...then you should probably go home.”

_HUH?_

“Give him some time, please. Give him a chance to move on. What happened really messed with him and he thought that things were finally changing between you two. I can tell you right now I’ll kill you if you treat him like some toy. Beka doesn’t deserve that and I don’t want him having to deal with more than he already is. It’s best if you lea-”

“HEY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT? LET ME PROCESS. I’m not 100% sure why I came here and I don’t understand most of what you’re saying but I NEVER said anything about not caring about him! I also NEVER said I wanted to be his fuck buddy...I’m just a little confused, ok? He’s not some hookup to me, he is so much more. I just- I need to see him...he’s my best friend.” 

She sighs in annoyance before grabbing his hand in both of hers, “Yuri it’s not fair to him.”

“What isn’t fair?”

“You don’t know what you want, you supposedly hate love, and you hate relationships...but he isn’t like that...Beka’s different. It’s always been you for him and it’s ok if you don’t feel the same, but you can’t keep stringing him along. You are breaking his heart.”

_What does that mean?_

_It’s been me for him?_

_Breaking his HEART?_

_Like as..._

_Oh..._

_OHH_

_I’m such a dumbass._

_This has nothing to do with friendship._

_Honestly, when was the last time this was even about friendship?_

_Three years ago...Madrid...that’s what she had meant by “the talk.”_

_The memories are so foggy, I thought they could have even been a dream._

_I never bothered asking him about it. Why would I if I wasn’t even sure it happened?_

_But it was real and..._

_It hadn’t been some drunken mistake had it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE FINALLY MEET NADIA.
> 
> This dialogue, IDEK about this one LMFAO. 
> 
> No idea if I like it, but it works and I hope its efficient enough to get the info out tehe.
> 
> Since I'll be pretty busy this week I'm going to try and get out 1 more chapter today!


	20. Nadia Knows Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part that's italicized is a flashback! I just wanted to clarify, in case it was confusing!
> 
> Once it changes back to the regular font that's when it returns to the present. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**_Chapter 20_ **

The night of Otabek's 22nd birthday.

_They had been standing on the balcony of a club in Madrid, shoulder to shoulder staring out into the night. JJ had planned the brunette a surprise party that Beka didn’t even bother to pretend to be surprised about. Yuri, drunk and annoyed had stumbled out to search for his friend, the cold instantly helping to sober him up… or he had thought. As they had stood beside one another, Beka began speaking, eyes never leaving the stars in the sky._

_"Are you drunk?”_

_“Not even close, because I still find JJ annoying as shit.”_

_“If I tell you something, you’ll remember then?”_

_“I said I wasn’t drunk.”_

_“Yeah...”_

_“What is it? Hurry up it’s cold out here.”_

_“You’re Russian how can you be cold?”_

_“I’m not a fucking polar bear Beka.”_

_“You’re right, you’re a kitten huh?”_

_“Do you want to die on your birthday?”_

_They lingered in silence before he spoke again_

_“You mean so much to me Yura.”_

_Yuri’s heart had flipped a million times as he stared up at the man looking into the sky._

_There he goes again, he had thought. There he goes saying weird shit._

_"I’m amazing, I’m not surprised.” He snickered in return_

_Joke the pain away. It’s always been a good tactic._

_Otabek hadn’t laughed or even snorted in return. His eyes met Yuri’s and the look on his face was unreadable. It always seemed to be._

_"You are. Amazing, I mean.”_

_His heart flipped a million times more_

_“Yura, I think...no...I know that I love y-”_

_And Yuri laughed. A loud cackle interrupting Otabek’s declaration._

_Not because it was funny or because he was mocking the man’s “feelings”...no. Because Beka didn’t love him, not like that at least. The brunette was drunk without a doubt. Otabek Altin, DJ, Motorcycle rider, Professional Ice Skater, the man who made Yuri’s days complete, he couldn’t love him. Not moody, rude, lonely, Yuri, who didn’t know the first thing about love. Who swore he would never love. It wasn’t possible._

_So he kept laughing, bitter in nature, with no knowledge he was breaking the heart of the man before him._

_"Shut up Altin. I never thought I’d see the day you were this drunk. Now stop saying stupid stuff and let's go back inside.”_

_“But, I’m not-”_

_“Stop it.” It came out much more harsh than he intended._

_He didn’t want to be reminded of what he couldn’t have. They had both had too much to drink. This conversation was made up of vodka and gin, not real feelings._

_“I don’t want to hear stupid shit like that. You’re drunk, ok? Let's go inside.”_

_Yuri missed the way Beka’s face fell as it returned to its facade just as quickly._

_“I'll go in soon. Go ahead, you don't want to catch a cold .”_

_“Alright hurry up then, you can’t leave your own party.”_

_And both men had parted, both a little more heartbroken than before._

_The next morning Yuri had awoken with only fragments of memory of the night before. Choosing to forget about their talk entirely, thinking that maybe it was just another hopeful dream._

Yuri pulled at his hair the realization punching him brutally in the gut. 

“Nadia, three years ago. In Madrid? That’s what you were talking about?”

“SO YOU FORGOT?”

“No...I-I had no idea. I never thought he was serious. I swore he was drunk. He would always say strange things-”

“You thought him confessing was strange?” 

“D-does he still-”

“Does it even matter? You laughed in his face. That night he called me and he said he’d give up, he didn’t want to lose the friendship. He thought that hopefully, you would just forget about it and it seems like that's what exactly you did.”

He blinks at her several times, attempting to comprehend the new knowledge being thrown at him. 

“I swear I didn’t know. I was drunk and I had no idea that-”

“It’s too late to go back. So think about it right now. Yuri, why are you really here? What made you come?

_I just...want him so badly._

“For him. I’m here for him. That’s why I came, I don’t want to lose him.”

Her face softens at his tone.

“Did you actually not know how much you meant to him? Even though he supposedly “gave up” it seems like you two only kept getting closer over the years. I think deep down he always had a sliver of hope.”

“I thought no one could care about me like that. Especially someone who means so much to me. _Especially him._ The more I think about it, I wonder if he tried to distance himself and I just kept pulling him back.”

He bites the inside of his cheek at his own words. 

_Why did I just admit that?_

She’s quiet for a long minute.

“So then...you know how he feels now.” 

“Yeah...”

“Be honest with me Yuri. I won’t be upset if you do, but, do you really just see him as a friend?”

_Otabek's been so much more than that for as long as I've known him. He's always been more than "just a friend"._

“No. Fuck no.”

“Do you love him?”

_I haven’t said it out loud yet._

_Have I even truly admitted it to myself?_

_How is it that it took me so long to realize everything?_

“I-yes. Of course, I do.”

It happens too quickly, the front door opens and it becomes unbearably quiet. Eye contact is made for a split second before the man turns to his cousin. 

“Why the hell is he in my house?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYOO, I really like the ending MWAHAHA. Kinda spicy eh? We got a little confession FINALLY and then BAE IS HOME. 
> 
> Does he sound angry or what?
> 
> GOTTA RUN CLASS STARTS IN LIKE 5 MINUTES ENJOY BYE. GIMME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS CHAPTER. SO MUCH HAPPENED.


	21. Apple Pie

**_Chapter 21_ **

“BEKA! You’re back, how was practice? I’m making your favorite meal! Yuri helped me, isn’t that so kind of him! He’s such a sweet-”

The brunette ignores her rambling, gaze never faltering back towards him as he repeats his question. 

“Why is he here Nadia?”

_That doesn’t sound like a happy “Why is he here?”_

“He came to visit.” 

“No. He’s not welcome.” 

_Oh... Fuck my life. The same day I find out he likes me is the same day I also find out that he now hates me. GREAT. WOOOHOOO._

“Otabek-” Nadia’s tone threatening,“-We don’t talk about our guests like that.”

“This is my house and he’s not a guest.”

“Well then he’s MY guest and he’s here for dinner.”

“So then take dinner and go eat somewhere else, because he isn’t staying.”

“Stop it. Where are your manners?”

“You of all people are going to ask me that? Why would you think it was ok to let him in?”

“Don’t be difficult and just listen. He’s staying, you two need to-.”

“Then I’m leaving and when I get back he better be gone.”

“You are NOT.”

Yuri’s heart pounds as he remains seated staring at the arguing pair in front of him.

_Ok, it can’t get worse. No way. He’s trying to kick me out, called me a fucking intruder, and they’re getting into a full-blown argument about my literal existence._

_Should I leave?_

_No._

_I came all the way over here and if what Nadia said is true, I can’t. Not without telling him how I feel._

Tuning back into the argument, he flinches at Nadia’s threats.

“-AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.”

“Are you insane? I’m not sitting.”

“Yes, you are. Or should I tell mom about all the-”

“Do you blackmail your husband like this?”

“Sit down.”

He moves towards the chair furthest from Yuri but Nadia drags and pushes him down to the one she had occupied. 

“This is ridiculous.” He grumbles angrily.

“Don’t care. I’m going to go to the store for some...uh-” She looks around, her eyes making contact with the fruit on the counter, “-to get apples. To make a...pie!”

“You literally just looked at the apples and you hate pie.”

“Those apples are ugly and our guest loves pie. Right, Yuri?”

_Pie is fucking disgusting._

“Um-”

“I knew it! I’m taking your motorcycle Beka, so thank you for that, and I’ll see you for dinner Yuri! Enjoy your big grown-up talk, like two functioning adults and please for the love of everything don’t be stupid, just this once, ok?” She leans down to glare at Otabek.

“Behave.”

Turning and grabbing the keys she hurries out, slamming the door shut.

The silence is brutal.

The worst he's ever experienced and Yuri has faced some bad moments, but none this uncomfortable.

Taking a deep breath he looks up at the brunette, taking in his appearance for the first time. 

_Of course, he’s in his practice clothes, did he always look this good wearing them?_

_His hair is shorter than before and his jaws sharper too? Has he been training more?_

_How's he so ho-_

_Ok! Snap out of it! I’ve got this. Sure he’s refusing to look at me, but it’s fine. I just have to start the conversation._

_“_ Bek-”

“You can leave now.”

_Ouch_

He's still not looking at Yuri and his tone is far from kind. 

Otabek stands, slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading towards his room. 

Yuri moves without thinking, grabbing his arm to stop his movement. 

“Beka, come on.”

“Don’t-” he pulls his arm away like he’s been struck, “-don’t call me that.”

His heart pounds harder as the man finally turns to look at him. 

How had he not realized all this time? The way Otabek would smile at him and nod at everyone else, the way he always held and comforted him. But now his eyes seemed as blank as his expression. No sweet glimmer or shine, no mischief, or joy. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit_

“Just leave.”

“I thought we were going to talk?”

“I never agreed to that.”

“Can we...just... please?”

“No.”

“Bek-”

“I already told you not to call me that and I really have nothing to say to you. Let yourself out.” 

_Determined. Otabek has always been determined._

_Fine. but I’m stubborn as fuck and I always win._

“We’re going to talk.” 

“I do not want to talk to you, Yuri.” 

“So then just fucking listen, dammit!” 

_Why is he being so stubborn? Stupid asshole._

Silence. 

“Make it fast. You're the last person I want to be around right now."

_Welp._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up later today and then it might be a day or two until the last updates. I'm really trying to figure out this ending. 
> 
> Thank you guys for being so FUN, your comments make me laugh so much.


	22. Fight Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now listen to my theory. The reason this scene is so heated is because of my belief that Yuri is 100% canonically a brat and an asshole, who doesn't think before he talks. I think Yuri's brattiness doesn't just come from his younger age, but rather he has a lot of insecurities, past issues, and OBVIOUS communication problems. Otabek on the other hand, I think he's too reserved and after so many years of holding back OF COURSE I had to let my BABY go off. ANYWHO ENJOY THE DRAMA but just be READY. I WARNED YA.

Yuri internally sighs in relief as Otabek throws his bag down and leans against the wall. 

_Wait. But what do I say?_

_Where do I start?_

_The reason I was angry at him, I should begin there. He has to have figured it out already...but if he hears from my point of view, maybe he’ll understand better._

“I was pissed off that night because I thought Nadia was your girlfriend. There were all those articles, you would get all weird when I mentioned relationships, and then before the free skate I heard you on the phone with her and you were saying things...I-I had no idea she was your cousin. You wouldn’t tell me anything so I thought you were trying to hide it from me. I was so sure and then when we uh...kissed...I got angry because I thought you were some straight guy that wanted to use me as your gay mistress or something weird like that-” 

Otabek’s face remains unwavering as he stares at Yuri, listening quietly. 

_OK, GOOD SIGN! LET ME CONTINUE._

“I was really fucking mad at you and honestly I thought I would just never see you again. Then...last week I saw your post about Nadia’s wedding and I realized that I had been wrong. To be fair you never tell me anything about your family, so I only knew what the media was pushing out, but I can admit that I messed up and I shouldn’t have-”

Otabek pushes away from the wall, face suddenly full of anger. 

_Well, at least it’s an emotion._

_I’ve never seen him look like that before..._

_I didn’t even know he could get angry. He always seems so calm._

“Get out, now.” 

_WHAT DID I SAY WRONG? WASN’T THAT PERFECT?_

_I EVEN SAID I MESSED UP!_

“Wait...what?”

“You MESSED up Yuri? A mess up is when you miss a jump or forget someone’s birthday. Messing up is not making me worry, lying, ignoring, avoiding, kissing me, and then telling me that I’m a piece of shit and that you regret meeting me. Seven fucking years, that’s how long we’ve been “friends” and you didn’t have the decency ONCE to tell me what was going on. You have no idea how that felt. Because you don’t care. You only care about how you feel and what you want. You have some nerves showing up to my house to tell me that you “messed up”.”

The tone strikes a match within Yuri, all defenses engaged. 

“SHOULD I SAY I FUCKED UP THEN? I WAS ANGRY AND-”

“YOU didn’t have any right to be angry and if you would have just talked to me you would have known that. The things you said to me... I would NEVER talk to you that way because that’s not what “friends” do. Friends respect each other and they care about one another... But obviously, that must have been one-sided too.”

“That’s not true and you know that Beka. You and I have been inseparable since we first met. I know I said some-”

“Is that what you call this? Us being inseparable? Huh, how ironic.”

“Fine. What do you want me to say then? What do you want to hear from me?”

“Nothing. I don’t want anything from you anymore. Since Madrid, I told myself I wouldn’t try again. I would stay by your side for however long you wanted me to because it didn’t matter if nothing changed between us. As long as you were happy, that's what I said every time a new article came out, or you’d tell me about a hookup, or remind me how much you hated love. I wanted to give up and I was doing better, maybe I could have even moved on but then you kissed me and every little ounce of hope returned. Just like that. So honestly Yuri, I don’t want you to say anything else. I’m done.”

"You’re not being fair. How was I supposed to know how you felt?”

“I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU and you laughed, you just looked at me and you laughed. That same night, not even an hour later you left with someone else and I still said nothing. I should have been angry back then but I couldn’t because it was you.”

“We were both drunk and-”

“I didn’t have one drink that night, not even one.”

_Oh._

“You never told me that, why did you never mention it again? Why didn’t we talk-”

“Why can't you just get out? There’s no point in you being here and I’m done fighting with you. I’m especially done fighting _for_ you.”

“No! I’m not just going to leave with things like this. There’s so much we need to talk about.”

“Oh? So now you don’t want to leave? Now you want to talk? Three months ago you had no problem leaving me outside of a hotel, confused out of my fucking mind.” 

“So do you just want to stay angry? Do you not want to listen?”

“You can’t even apologize, Yuri! You came all the way over here and you’ve told me that you “messed up” and that it's my fault for not telling you everything. Why should I listen to this bullshit? ” 

“OK, should I get on my fucking knees and beg then?” 

_I shouldn’t have said that..._

“I swear to god if you don’t leave-”

“WHAT? You’re going to punch me, Beka? Drag me out? We both know you would never touch me.”

_I DEFINITELY shouldn’t have said THAT._

Otabek shakes his head in disbelief and lets out a bitter laugh. 

“You’re a child. You came here to get the last word in, right?”

_I have never seen him like this before. I’m usually the angry one._

_He does have every right to be mad though._

_I’m being an asshole again, aren’t I?_

_I don’t want to fight with him anymore. There’s nothing satisfying about this._

_I need to put my fucking pride aside._

“Otabek, listen, please. I didn’t come here to fight-”

A loud knocking at the door stops his attempt. 

_Really? Now is so not the fucking time. How’d she get back from the store so quickly?_

“Are you kidding?” The brunette grumbles pushing past him to get to the door.

“Nadia you have my ke-oh... Aje?”

~~~

Otabek’s demeanor instantly straightens and his tone changes as he returns to his native language. Yuri attempts to peer to see who’s at the door.

“Aje? Is something wrong?”

“I heard yelling.” The voice is soft and shaky. 

_An old woman. His aunt? No, she wouldn’t be that old._

_I don’t care. Can she leave? We’re in the middle of something._

“Are you okay Otabek?” 

“Of course, I was just watching a movie, that’s all. Did I wake you?”

_Huh? He probably doesn’t want to worry her._

“No, no I was just on the phone with my granddaughter and wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Oh, I’m sorry the volume was too loud, everything's alright though. Nadia made lots of food so I’ll stop by tomorrow and bring you some.” 

“Ahh, you are too good to me Otabek. More like a son than a neighbor.”

The small woman seems to have a peak of curiosity, looking under Otabek’s arm to see inside. Yuri freezes as she stares at him.

_Scary old hag._

“Who’s this handsome man?”

“Uh, he’s another skater.”

“Is this who you were fighting with?”

“Aje, I told you it was the movie.”

“I’m old, not blind Otabek. Your television is not on.”

He lets out a sigh, gently nudging her back. 

“I promise you I’m ok. I’ll come to see you first thing tomorrow. Get a good night’s rest.”

“Very well. Don't fight with your friend, ah? Remember what I always tell you? Do not live your life with petty regrets.” 

She hobbles away and the brunette silently pushes the door closed. His hands covering his face as he slumps down to the floor.

Yuri feels helpless as he stands watching. 

_He looks so small sitting there._

_I don’t want him to look like that._

_I’m a real dick, fucking hell._

_I came here to make up with him and I just got all defensive and mean._

_Mila would murder me if she was here._

_Actually, Nadia will probably do that when she gets back._

_Does he really hate me now?_

Wordlessly, he makes his way to the door sliding down beside the brunette, making sure to leave a distance between them.

Otabek lowers his hands to look at him and Yuri feels an immense pain at the sight. 

He no longer looks angry but rather defeated. Exhaustion written all over his face. They stare at each other, neither gaze wavering before Otabek breaks. 

“I thought with time I could be your friend again. But I can’t go back now, not after everything. I-I think I’m really done this time, I can’t keep doing this Yuri."

_No._

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” He returns softly.

“You don’t... because...you still love me, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's da tea. We're almost done BIHHH. Thanks for reading baddies <33 
> 
> I've really enjoyed writing this and this was more for fun! But hopefully, I'll get to write some better pieces in the future. That don't depend on me writing them at 4 in the morning. MWAHA it's 4:20 am rn. 
> 
> I have some cool new ideas for both this couple, VICTUURI and maybe either some other animes ships. wink wink. Totes feel free to leave suggestions.


	23. Confessions

"That was a really stupid question, Yuri.”

_Why the fuck would I ask that?_

“I know.”

Silence. 

“You shouldn’t love m-"

“Too late.” 

_It makes no sense. I don’t do anything other than skate. I’m mean and selfish and I spent my whole life saying love was fake. Why would he do that to himself?_

_Is that why I refused to see how he felt? Because I knew I wouldn’t be good enough for him?_

_I keep hurting him and I don’t even realize._

_But...I don’t want to do that to him anymore._

_I just want him to smile._

_I want to hug and hold him._

_I want to... love him._

_I don’t want to hide how I feel about him anymore._

“I’m really sorry.”

The brunette snaps his head towards Yuri in surprise. 

_Do I really never apologize? Is that much of a surprise? Wtf_

“ I really am Beka. I swear to you if I thought you were serious for even a second in Madrid I would have never left things like that. I wasn’t even sure if it really happened and it wasn’t until today that I remembered everything. I should have just talked to you from the beginning. I was scared and I was selfish. You’re right, you know? I do only think about myself most of the time, but when it's not me...then it’s you. I think about you a lot Otabek. Somedays I can’t even get you off my mind.”

“Yuri what are you-”

“I only want you to smile when you’re around me. That’s selfish too, right? But I get this horrible feeling when some pretty girl laughs with you or rests their hand on you for too long. It pisses me off actually. Because I don’t want anyone else to touch you or make you smile. I want that to be me.”

Yuri pinches himself to prevent the tears threatening to form. 

“And when we go out to dinner, I spend a long time getting ready because I want to look good, so that hopefully you won’t still see me as that stupid teenager you met all those years ago, even though we know deep down I still am because I’m as immature and reckless as ever. But most of the time I just want you to think that I’m way cooler than I actually am. When in reality, my ability to properly think is destroyed when you hug me or kiss the top of my head. It’s like you have some fucking spell on me and it's so frustrating because I want to be able to forget about you sometimes.”

“Yura-”

“Shut up, I’m not done talking.”

Otabek shoots a glare but presses his lips shut regardless. 

“I think you’re-I think you’re beautiful. The most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You make me feel safe and I’ve just been taking you for granted and causing you pain for so long. I fucked up with you Beka. I know I did and I know that you probably deserve better, but the truth is I want to keep being selfish when it comes to you. I want to hide you where no one else can have you, somewhere where you’d only be mine.” 

The brunette lets out a strained breath at his words. 

“But I know that's not possible, so most importantly I want you to know how sorry I am. I’m sorry for forgetting, for not asking you, not talking to you, and for overall just being a fucking mess. You make me happy, really fucking happy and I don't want to be without you anymore. The thought of my life without you makes me want to throw up all over my damn shoes and-”

“Please tell me you’re done.”

“No asshole-" He grits angrily in return, "- I wasn't. But now I am because you keep interrupting me.”

“Was that your way of trying to tell me that you like me?”

“Did I not make it obvious enough? I thought the throwing up on my shoes part sealed the deal."

“You...like me then?”

“Isn’t that what I JUST said?”

“But you don’t like people. You think they’re annoying and you hit them for no reason.”

“You aren’t people, you’re... _you._ ”

Otabek continues staring, eyes dazed and confused. 

“You don’t believe in love.”

“I thought we established I was an immature liar?”

“Are you lying now then?”

"Am I being fucking interrogated?"

"Yes."

_That's fair._

“Well then...no idiot, I'm not lying. It’s scary, ok? The thought of giving someone everything. It’s always scared me, I thought I’d be better off just avoiding love completely. The main reason I made that promise was because I was scared that I’d meet someone like you. Someone who would make me rethink everything I thought I knew.”

“So..." Otake begins softly, curiosity evident in his tone, "-do I scare you, Yuri? Are you scared of being with me?”

"Yeah-" He returns honestly, "- I’m really scared actually. But it’s because you’re so good. I’m worried that I can't be like that for you. But, I don’t want to be scared anymore. Not of you...or of us.”

The older man scoots closer as he speaks cautiously. “Do you know what you're saying? I don’t want to be "just friends" with you Yura.”

“I know.”

Yuri scoots closer this time the gap between them barely visible. 

“And I don’t want to be a one night stand.” 

“I know,” Yuri repeats insistently.

“And I can’t deal with you changing your mind.”

“I know...I won’t Otabek.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can.” 

Yuri wraps his pinky around the others, eyes glued to his own action as Beka continues. 

“You said you thought relationships were dumb, but that’s what I want with you.”

“They are dumb. I wasn’t lying about that. ”

"You are so-"

“But that’s ok, right? You and I are pretty dumb anyway. If it's with you, I don’t mind. You’re my exception. I only want to be with you.”

The silence reigns once more and Yuri can't help but push for a reply as his face flushes in realization of what he's just admitted. 

“Say something Otabek. You’re giving me a headache.”

“I-”

_I am going to pass out if you don't say something._

“Date me. Be my boyfriend.” Yuri blurts faster than he can think. 

“Woah, woah-" Otabek stumbles, shaking his head, "-wait a minute.”

The blonde groans, throwing his head back in frustration. 

“Didn't you just say you wanted to be with me? What are we waiting for then?”

“This is really sudden and you're always being reckless, so I have to think for the both of us. Are you sure... you actually like me Yuri?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said the sappiest shit in the world and you’re asking me that?”

“It’s just the way I feel about you...I lov-”

“DON’T SAY IT.”

It’s Otabek’s turn to groan as he glares at Yuri.

“What do you mean? I’m trying to tell you that I love y-”

“SHUT UP. Beka don’t say it.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Well, because...I feel the same way.”

The brunette stares at him like he’s grown another head.

“So then why wouldn’t you want me to say it?”

“If you have doubts about how I feel, then I don’t want to say it now. I don’t want you to think I’m saying it just in the heat of the moment or because I’m trying to win you over. We’ll start dating and then one day when the moments right...I’ll tell you. So you know how much I mean it. You’ll be sure it’s nothing but the truth.”

Otabek hides a smile, by turning his head, “That’s kind of nice, but why can’t **I** say it? It’s already established how I feel.”

“I want us to say it at the same time stupid. That’s why you can’t tell me now. Isn’t that like couple law or something to say it at the same time?”

“Not at all, but ok, I guess...”

“Yeah?" Yuri grins, leaning forward, "-So say you'll date me.”

“Ask me this time. You can't just demand it.”

"Why not?"

Otabek shoots him a dark glare. 

_I’m going to ask him to be my boyfriend?_

_Holy shit._

“Beka..." He begins, nerves running wild. 

“I’m listening.”

“Be my boyfriend-"

"No."

"Please?” He adds immediately, desperate for a change of answer. 

Otabek's quiet for too long and Yuri’s heart plummets.

_What if he really means no and just laughs and runs away?_

_That would be karma at its finest._

_I would probably deserve it._

_BUT Please say YES. PLEASE PLEASE_

“Yeah...I’d like that.”

FUCK YEAH

He resists the urge to jump his bones, instead, poking him directly on the nose.

“Why’d you take so long to respond, jerk?”

“I was thinking.”

“That was mean.”

“Well, I said yes, didn’t I?" Otabek retorts with a sigh. 

_THANK YOU WORLD_

“Good-" Yuri crawls directly in front of him. “-and there are no takebacks Otabek, you can’t change your mind either.”

The older man laughs sweetly, his hand reaching out to cup Yuri’s face.

“You’re the strangest and most frustrating person I’ve ever met.” 

“Hmm, I guess so. That’s what makes me cool though, right?”

“Oh yeah." He whispers softly, "-You're the coolest Yura” 

He leans his face into Otabek’s palm with a triumphant smile as the man squeezes gently. 

“I’m kind of sorry if I was mean earlier. You know I don’t usually get angry, but you were being a brat and you’re not very smart.”

“I deserved it-" Yuri sighs, hating to admit defeat, "-I was being a stubborn asshole. But if you're mean again I’ll castrate you.”

“You’re nowhere near as scary as you think.” The brunette counters with a soft smile.

_Bastard._

“Humor me then.”

“I can do that.”

Otabek moves away from the door, gently bringing Yuri’s face closer until their noses are touching. 

_If my heart keeps beating at this rate, I’ll die._

_But this time I get my kiss. A proper one too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TODAYS THE LAST DAY. ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE POSTED. WHOOP WHOOP.


	24. New Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LA LA LA, last official chapter!

Yuri closes his eyes, leaning forward so their lips can meet. 

He can’t help but wonder if this is what it means when people say they feel like they're floating. Something that had once sounded so stupid, suddenly made perfect sense.

Their lips are chapped and they're both breathless. It’s nothing like their first kiss, no... it feels different, and it is. It’s not the same at all. Because they aren’t angry or sad or confused. 

They’re just in love. 

_I’m in love._

_I have been for a long time._

_I’ll tell him one day. When it’s right. He’ll hear it...and never stop hearing it._

“Yura.” Beka pulls back to look at him. “-I really want to say it.”

“You can’t.”

“But-”

The door suddenly springs open, stopping as it hits Otabek with full force. 

“Fuck!”

"Did I hit something?” Nadia peaks in, looking down at her cousin clutching his head while Yuri attempts to pull him out of the way.

“Why are you two idiots on the floor?”

“Who the hell opens a door like that?”

“I thought I would give a warning that I was coming in!”

“That’s what KNOCKING IS FOR.”

Yuri rubs at the man’s head in a useless attempt to ease the pain.

“Both of you GET UP.”

Otabek curses under his breath as he grabs the blonde’s hand pulling them off the floor.

Nadia raises an eyebrow, gesturing at their proximity.

“Did you two finally grow up?"

“Mhmm, we're dating. He's officially my boyfriend.” Yuri grins, wrapping his arms around the brunette's waist. 

“Only took 7 years-” She mumbles, making her way to the kitchen.

Otabek sighs, rubbing at his head.

“Do you want me to get you ice?” 

“Nope, I'm fine. Don’t go.”

“The kitchen's right over there Beka.”

“Just stay here with me.”

He can’t help the teasing smile that takes over his face as he looks up at his boyfriend. 

_ALERT ALERT OTABEK ALTIN IS IN FACT MY BOYFRIEND_

_THE TRIO IS GOING TO FREAK OUT._

_I'M FREAKING OUT_

_I’M IN A RELATIONSHIP_

_AGJSHDDSAK_

“I’d never guess that the badass Otabek was so needy.”

“I could say the same for you, do you have any intention of letting go?” Otabek tugs loosely at the arms still wrapped around him.

“Nope, are you telling me you want me to let go?”

“Never.” 

“I’m really happy,” Yuri whispers giddily into the other man’s ear.

“So am I, you have no idea. But we still have a lot to talk about Yura.”

“Yeah, Yeah I know-" He mutters petulantly, "- but we’ll figure it out. Won’t we? Let's not fight, I don’t like seeing you angry, it doesn't suit you.”

Otabek sighs, shaking his fond fondly, “Alright, I won’t get angry, but then you can’t be a brat.”

“I’m not sure how long I’ll last but, DEAL. We’ll talk after your heads all better.”

“My heads fin-”

“Shhh. I’ll heal you don’t worry.”

_Talking can wait. This moment can't._

Otabek’s face holds the brightest smile he’s seen so far. Bigger than the paparazzi pictures, or when he would win a gold medal, especially bigger than when he would talk to stupid JJ. It’s so pure and warm that Yuri’s not sure he can bear it much longer. 

_But it’s perfect._ _The smile I’ve wanted all along._

“That smile, it’s just for me. Promise Beka.”

The brunette twinkles with amusement.

“I promise Yura. It’s reserved for you and you only.”

The next kiss is just as sweet and Otabek places a light peck on his head for good measure. 

_Damn you Otabek Altin._

_You have my whole heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave my last message on the Epilogue!! <333


	25. Epilogue

**St. Petersburg, 3 months later...**

Yuri Plitetsky was on a mission. A very important one at that, but there was one major issue. His boyfriend refused to wake up. 

“OTABEK ALTIN.”

“No.”

“It’s our day off, stop being a lazy jerk.”

“You kept me up all night and now you’re trying to wake me up early. We’ve only slept for 2 hours.”

“THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.”

The brunette opens one eye to peek at him. Closing it just as quickly when he sees the mean glare focused on him. 

“Can’t we just do this some other day? I’m here for another week.”

“Only TODAY is our 3 month anniversary.”

He pulls the pillow over his head, grumbling in return. 

“You mean the world to me, but who the fuck celebrates 3 months together? Let alone at 5 in the morning.”

“If you think about it, we’ve liked each other for years, so it’s technically like our 7 year anniversary.”

“That is SO completely incorrect.”

“Besides the point, get up NOW.”

“I’ll take you out tonight instead, we can-”

“NO, RIGHT NOW.”

Otabek groans, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

“What are we doing anyway?”

“No questions. Let’s go.”

He reluctantly stands with a stretch and slowly trails behind him. Yuri scans the man with a grin before letting out a laugh. 

“You can not go outside naked. Tempting, but this isn’t America.”

“We’re leaving the apartment too?!”

"I told you that already, now meet me out front in 5 minutes. I’ll kick your ass if you’re even a second late.”

~~~

Otabek greets him 4 minutes later, bundled in his large winter apparel and Yuri can’t help the large smile that overcomes him. 

_He’s too cute_

_I’m so lucky._

_I really hope today goes well._

Grabbing the man’s hand he pulls him along the empty streets.

The two continue the long distance with no need for words, taking turns humming and bumping into one another. 

Yuri stops as they near their destination. 

“Close your eyes.” He orders. 

“Oh, no.”

“It won’t be for long and no peeking.”

“Are you selling my body? It better be for a lot of money.”

“Shut up and close your eyes.”

He leads him the remainder of the way, positioning his boyfriend to face the surprise. 

“Count to three and then open.”

The blonde points at the large building they stand before, watching victoriously as Otabek’s eyes widen. 

“Tada!” 

“We’re at the Botanical Garden, Da?”

“Da.”

“Kotik, it’s amazing.”

“Isn’t your boyfriend the most wonderful man in the world?”

“That he is. But did my boyfriend forget that we can’t go in until they open? It’s 6 in the morning, they open at 10.”

“NYET, I knew you’d say that. We can still get in!”

“The doors are closed.” 

“I’ll simply open them.”

“Are you trying to do something illegal? I’m not a citizen here, you know? They’ll let me rot in prison.” 

_Are my dramatics rubbing off on him?_

“No idiot, stop worrying. Victor has a bunch of weird connections, probably the mafia or something, but they said we could come early and they’d let us in.”

“We’ll have the whole place for ourselves?”

“Of course. No annoying pests.”

Otabek smiles brightly, wrapping him in a tight hug, “I can’t believe you remembered. I told you I wanted to come here years ago.”

_BEST BOYFRIEND AWARD._

“5 years to be exact. I’m sorry it took so long, but at least we finally made it, right?”

“It’s perfect baby, thank you.”

As they’re let in, Yuri can’t keep his eyes off his lover. The way Otabek grins and points at the different sculptures and plants, makes his heart swell with joy. Living in Russia the landmark was nothing new, but the company he had this time around made everything so much more stunning. 

_I can do it!_

_There’s no way I can mess this up_

_It’s simple and from the heart_

_WAIT...I can't right now, he’s enjoying himself so much._

_What if I get all weird and ruin the day?_

_What If I forget the speech?_

_UGH I’M OVERTHINKING_

_The trio said this shouldn’t be hard_

_Why am I so nervous? BLEHH_

_DIE DIE DIE_

“Yura? Are you ok? Are you cold?”

He leans down to inspect Yuri with evident concern.

“Nyet, Nyet. I brought breakfast so we can eat while we watch the sunrise. It should be in a few minutes, lets go sit."

They make their way into the glasshouse, finding a bench to begin their meal.

_Ok, I should be able to do it now._

“Uhm Beka-”

“Hmm?’

Yuri’s breath catches as they make eye contact and he immediately looks down.

“Kotyonek-" His boyfriend frowns, "-what is it?”

_I can't do it._

“Oh uh-didn’t you want help picking your program music?”

“You want to do that right now?”

_No, not really._

_I didn’t even mean to say that_

_I’m just so fucking nervous._

_CALM DOWN, I NEED TO CALM DOWN_

“Yeah, why not?”

“Alright, I even have my headphones. Lucky huh?”

Otabek places one headphone into his ear and the other into his own as the music begins. 

They listen to several pieces and it does wonders for his nerves. He feels his heartbeat slow as he leans his head against the comforting chest, letting his eyes flutter close. 

They rest in a comforting silence while the sunrise fills the glasshouse. It’s a beautiful shade of orange and they stay there, for what feels like hours, the music continuing on.

_This song is the one for Beka._

Yuri is sure of it as soon as the piece reaches its chorus. It’s a classical sound and the emotions it elicits are perfect. The grace and power that perfectly represented Otabek. 

_Yes, this is it._

_He’d look stunning skating to this._

Yuri opens his eyes, looking up to watch the other man. He’s humming along to the song, gaze floating around the garden curiously as his hand weaves mindlessly through the blonde's hair.

_So unintentionally beautiful._

_I shouldn’t have been nervous at all, what was I thinking?_

_I don't need a long stupid speech either._

_This is so easy._

_Because it’s real, it’s how I feel._

_It doesn't have to be perfect._

He reaches up as the song ends, pulling the headphone out and leaning until his mouth is right by the man’s ear. 

“I love you.” 

Otabek freezes, his eyes stuck on a plant across the room. 

It's a moment of stunned silence before he slowly turns to face him. 

The pure adoration on his face is obvious as he cups Yuri’s face with both hands and knocks their foreheads together. 

“And I love you. So much.”

Yuri brings his boyfriend’s hands to his lips, kissing them softly. 

“Thank you, Beka, for loving me. I know I’m difficult and I’m not the ideal partner, but you’re patient and so good to me. I'm beyond grateful for you.”

“I have always loved you Yura and I always will, nothing could ever change that. Please don’t thank me for such a thing. You deserve the world, and you are my ideal everything. I only hope that I can make you as happy as you make me.” 

_How can one person be so perfect?_

“Let’s go.” Otabek smiles pulling him up.

“Huh? Where are we going?”

“Let's finish looking around so I can take you home.”

“Why do you want to go home?”

“Because you told me you loved me for the first time. So t’s only right that we make love, yes?”

Yuri’s eyes bulge at the comment.

“And you said I was dirty.”

“You are, this has nothing to do with being dirty. It’s just love, my dear Kotnik.”

“Heh. I’ll bring you back here some other time. We’ve looked enough, let’s just head home now."

“That's perfectly fine with me.”

The two smile and skip like giddy teenagers as they make their way back. 

It didn’t have to be perfect.

But it ended up like that anyway. 

_Operation Tell Otabek I Love Him: COMPLETE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADE THE END. Thank you for all the sweet comments and support on my first FIC. WHEEP!! I had lots of fun with this and I'm so glad I decided to do it! I really hope you guys enjoyed it! AND I HOPE this made you want to go watch YURI! ON ICE again because VICTUURI 4EVER. I LOVE THOSE TWO. I could never put them through the pain I put OtaYuri through LMFAO. 
> 
> And we'll see what I end up doing. Maybe I'll write a tragedy because if it wasn't already obvious I NEED ANGST.  
> (says the girl who's too scared to commit to banana fish because I KNOW it's just PURE PAIN) 
> 
> ALSO, READ "KINGS MAKER" THE MANWHA BRO THAT SHIT IS SO GOOD AHH 
> 
> THANK YOU AGAIN BADDIES.

**Author's Note:**

> HIYA. FIRST CHAPTER of MY FIRST FIC. What do we think? I need ya'll to be honest. PUH-LEASE leave feedback, let me know what you think! This fic ended up being longer than I thought but I honestly couldn't see it working as well if I shortened it. I actually have already finished the entire thing but I'm still editing so I'm not sure what my posting schedule will look like, it honestly all depends on what you guys think! Thanks again for reading KISSES.


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